Saturday, 21 December 2013

Dirty Couples Have More Fun

I occasionally see couples. Couple appointments go only two ways. They are either great fun or they are a disaster. That at least has been my experience.

I was called by a guy who was staying at a local hotel with his wife. He sounded nervous on the phone while he explained that his wife had a fantasy of watching him being arse fucked while she watched. I told him that her fantasy would be no problem and that it was a quite common fantasy and a request that I had serviced several times. He explained that his wife probably would only watch and not join in. I assured him that that was fine and at the end of our conversation he sounded much more relaxed. Guys do like straight forward dirty talk I find.

A few hours later I arrived at the hotel at the agreed time and had a glass of wine and five minutes chat.  They were a lovely couple in their mid forties. She was slim and a professional. Nicely dressed and spoken with very pert breasts which strained against a crisp white shirt. He was dressed in jeans and shirt and was slim with a goatee beard, just touched with a sprinkle of white, which made him look quite distinguished. After chatting for a while we agreed that she would leave the room for a few minutes to allow us two chaps to get started. She would then would return and pretend that she had found her husband with another guy and would insist on watching him being arse fucked as a punishment.

After she left the room I undressed, leaving on only my little white pants. I then watched as he undressed completely. I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my legs apart and I noticed that his cock was already half mast as I nodded for him to kneel between my legs. He pulled my pants to one side to reveal my now  rock hard cock and my balls, which freed, now dangled nicely out of the side of my pants. He then began to gingerly stroke my cock, but at my demand he soon took it in his mouth. It was a delicious feeling as his lips nervously slid over my knob end. He began to suck on my now wet knob, his saliva mixing with my pre cum. It was a delicious feeling and I pushed gently on the back of his head and watched as my cock slid deep into his mouth. He gagged a little as my knob end hit the back of his throat but he was by now really horny and without any encouragement began to slide his mouth up and down the length of my shaft giving me a good face fucking.

I  was enjoying being sucked but I knew what I was there for which was to fuck his arse while his wife watched and I knew that she would be back very soon. Pulling my cock out of his mouth I indicated that he get on the bed on all fours where I pushed his head down making his arse raise in the air. He had nice arse cheeks, firm, almost a bubble butt and as he pushed his arse up his cheeks opened and I had a good view of his round puckered man cunt, nice and round, slightly darker than his skin, and puckered nicely, the sort that demands an enquiring tongue. Spreading his arse cheeks wide and quite roughly with my hands I fell onto my knees behind him and began to lick vigorously around his arsehole before licking from his balls, which I was squeezing gently, up to his arsehole and then down again. I repeated this several times which he obviously enjoyed by the way he pushed his arse onto my face while he moaned with pleasure.

While I was licking his cunt I heard the hotel room door open and I glanced around to see his wife smiling as she pulled a chair close to that she could watch as I licked her husbands arse and pulled on his balls. I licked around his arse and balls while she asked him if he was enjoying himself. I heard him mumble something like "Yes, shit, yes, shit , it's fantastic." I glanced around again and noticed that she was now sitting back on the chair, her legs spread and to my surprise she had pulled her panties to one side so that I could watch her rubbing his cunt lips.

On with my job I thought as I climbed on to the bed, and standing over her kneeling husband positioned my cock so that I could rub it against his arsehole. I was standing with my legs spread of course which gave her a good view of my balls dangling, my arsehole of course and my cock as it slowly slid into her husbands virgin arsehole. He was tight and it took me several attempts to get inside him. He let out a cry of pain and pulled away as my knob end eventually slipped into his arse. I had to grab his hips and hold him firmly as I pushed on, slipping my full length into this tight man cunt. Once inside I stopped for a short time to give him time to become accustomed to having a cock inside him, and then I began to fuck him properly, pulling my cock nearly out before slipping into him fully. He was I have to say a nice tight fuck, just what I like.

My knees however soon began to hurt. Riding a tight arse in that position is great to watch but hard on the muscles. After a good hard ride I therefore pulled out and standing up and turned around so that my cock was virtually level with the face of his wife who now was rubbing her cunt vigorously and moaning. Dirty bitch I thought, but then again she was having a private porno shoot performed right before her eyes. To my surprise however however she reached out with her free hand and grabbed my cock and began to wank me. Her husband meantime had turned himself around and was not positioned between my legs so that he could access my arse, which to my surprise he began to lick, sliding his tongue between my arse cheeks and over my arsehole while his wife wanked me with one hand while she rubbing her cunt with her other What a fab appointment I thought.

The appointment then became even better because his wife, who was not supposed to be joining in, climbed onto the bed and indicated for her husband to get his head between her legs. She was still dressed, but had pulled her skirt up to her waist. She was wearing little lacy knickers which she had pulled to one side to reveal a little, neatly trimmed, pussy. His arse was of course back in the air and so in slipped my cock once more. While I fucked his tight little arse he licked his wife's cunt out as she lay, her legs spread, moaning with pleasure as his tongue slipped between her red cunt lips. He must have been good with his tongue, or the whole dirty scenario must have been a real turn on, because it was not long before she orgasmed with a loud moan and pushed his head hard against her cunt while she rolled from side to side. I all the time was still fucking her husbands arse. Sensing I was nearing orgasm however I pulled out and as he lifted his cunt juice soaked face up from her cunt I knelt over him and sprayed his face with my spunk. I shot a heavy ball load that sprayed over his face and dribbled down over and off his chin. Quite a sight.

This I thought is how an appointment should be. Christmas is looking good I thought as I left with a ten pound tip. Very nice evening I thought.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and hope to have lots of dirty sexy adventures in 2014 XXX


Tuesday, 10 December 2013

BIG BALLS...And I'm Back And Dirtier Than Ever

Hi everyone. It seems ages since I last posted anything but the last couple of months have, in one way or another, been very busy. I have fully recovered from my illness thankfully, (nothing sexual I hasten to add) and have had a mountain of personal and work stuff to catch up with. The erotic massage is now fully back in business and once again I am hoping to visit my favourite destination Edinburgh, in the New Year.

Of course when I was ill I could think of nothing but cock and since starting back to work I have enjoyed one long, cock sucking, arse fucking, pissing, festival. I know of course that my readers like to know the gory, lust filled details of my adventures, so I will begin by relating one recent encounter with a very nice chap who visited me for an hours massage appointment. I had seen him before, when he had been quite shy, but this time he was rampant and ready for action.

He is a muscular guy in his late thirties, fit with a nice hairy chest, and a very thick and long circumcised cock, but best of all he has huge bollocks, the sort that swung as he walked. I noticed with glee that he was already semi hard as he dried himself after his shower and as I watched him walk over to the massage table, balls swinging, especially so as he hoisted himself on to the table, I knew this was going to be a fun appointment.

I began the massage as usual by rubbing the hot oil over his back, but to be honest I was so fucking horny after watching his balls swinging inches from my face as he had climbed onto the table that I soon had my fingers down the crack of his arse where I began to rub and probe his puckered man cunt. Teasing his tight arsehole with my fingers soon had him moaning like a little bitch on heat. Knowing, being a fuck expert, that he was horny as fuck and ready I slipped a finger into his arsehole, just a little, and then as he lifted his arse just slightly, I slipped my hand around his heavy balls and began to pull on them gently. His balls felt soft and big and round in my hand as I caressed them in their soft sack, pulling on them gently but firmly. I love the feel of big balls and of course I could not help myself. My regulars all know that I like nothing better than to get my tongue rammed up a tight arsehole and so I soon had my face between the tight butt cheeks of this guys arse and began licking his puckered hole like a slut possessed.

As I slurped away at his tight man cunt I was all the time pulling on those low hanging bollocks which had him moaning with pleasure and pushing his arse hard against my face. I was in heaven, as was he, which became more obvious when he slipped half off the table, leaving one leg raised, so that I could have full access to his arsehole and balls. I fell onto my knees where I had a really good view of his hanging bollocks and of his puckered arsehole wet with my saliva. I then began to lick and bite his arse hole and to suck on his balls while I wanked his big horse cock. I felt like a real fucking dirty whore...I love dirty sex.

Eventually he pulled away and standing before me pushed me back slightly. I was still on my knees, and he held his still hard cock a couple of inches from my mouth, and then, smiling wickedly, he released a jet of hot piss that sprayed over my face and showered over my chest and cock and balls. There is nothing like a hot piss shower. I love being pissed on, the feeling of submission and the hot piss pouring over me had me mad with passion. When he had finished pissing I leaned forward and took his salty, moist cock in my mouth and began to deep throat him, all the time caressing his big balls, pulling on them gently. I could feel his knob end rubbing the back of my throat, making me gag, but I did not care, his cock tasted delicious.

Reluctantly he pulled his cock from my mouth and indicated that I stood. He then bent me over the massage table and putting his hand between my legs forced my legs apart so that he had access to my arsehole. On his knees he then pulled my arse cheeks apart and applied his hot tongue to my arsehole and began to lube me up with his tongue. The delicious sensations of his strong tongue licking around my butt hole had me squirming and moaning as I wanked my cock. When he thought I was wet enough he began to frig me, first with one finger, and then with two. He had me now, he could have done whatever he had wanted with me. I love being tongued and fingered. He frigged my arse for for a long time, spitting on my arsehole and on his fingers to make sure I was moist so that his fingers could slide easily in and out of my tight man cunt.

All the time, while he was pleasuring me, I was moaning and wanking myself. After a while he stood up and I immediately fell back onto my knees and again took his huge cock into my mouth. As he began to face fuck me I slipped my hand behind his balls and inserted first one finger and then two fingers into his tight arsehole and began to frig him as he fucked my mouth. It did not take long before he climaxed, filling my my mouth with hot spunk that dribbled out of my mouth and down my chin onto my chest. As he emptied his balls into my mouth I could feel his thick cock jerking in my mouth and I could not help but think that I am so lucky to be doing a job that gives, pleasure, that is pleasurable, and for which I get paid. And this guy gave me a nice tip as a thank you. Super nice I thought.

As he left I squeezed his bulge and was delighted to feel that he was still semi hard. I had done my job well. Can't wait for his next visit and what he may want to do then.

I'm rock hard after writing this. I have so many wonderful experiences to reveal in my next book of memoirs. Remember guys that “My Dirty Memoirs” by Christopher Harlot, is still available on Amazon Kindle. An excellent Christmas gift to yourselves. I am also available most days for appointments up to Christmas, CUM soon.


Thursday, 12 September 2013

Piss fun specials.

Love piss fun. To encourage my favourite little perversion I am going to offer a little deal for those who like to indulge. I love nothing better than to be pissed over and to suck cock and rim nice clean arseholes. So if you are into a little kinky fun and fancy obliging then give me a call. I am offering this special for a short term only for my pervy but nice clients.

 Look at my website

Back AT LAST..

Hi everyone I’m back at last. Have been off with an illness (nothing sexual) which meant I had to have lots and lots of rest. Nice but dull. Now I am back working again and it is so nice to have lots of nice cocks and arseholes to lick and suck and play with again. 
My first client back was especially nice. Youngish guy, nice body and a nice sized cock and best of all huge fucking balls…YES, i shouted with joy in my head when I slipped my hand between his legs as he lay face down on the massage couch and I began to lick his puckered little arsehole. Gods he tasted nice, and as he lifted up to allow me greater entry with my tongue into his arsehole, his balls swung nice and low allowing me to bounce them in my hand.
I continued licking and sucking on his puckered hole, loosening him up so that my tongue could slip inside and then of course a finger. This carried on for some time until eventually he was on his knees on the massage table, my tongue up his arse, his balls in one hand and his cock in my other. Nice, and of course he was whimpering away, covering my hand in pre cum which oozed out of his shiny, purple knob end. Being me of course I had to suck on his knob end and and all that salty pre cum tasted so nice as he slipped in and out of my mouth as my finger slipped in and out of his arsehole.
Eventually we ended up in the bedroom and assumed a classic 69 position, him on top. His stiff cock sloping in and out of my mouth and then I had his big heavy balls to play with which had me in ecstasy. Licking and sucking on those balls was so delicious, and all the time two of my fingers frigged his tight man cunt. He of course was sucking happily on my cock while both his hands were wrapped around the cheeks of my arse so that he could use the fingers of both hands to tease my arsehole. If you have never had a double fingering then I highly recommend it.
It was not long before I felt his arsehole ring grip my fingers and a heavy ball load of thick gooey spunk exploded in my mouth forcing me to swallow most. There was to much hot creamy spunk that some escaped over my chin onto my face and covering my neck and hair in sticky cream. He tasted so fucking good however. I love spunk, love to have it sprayed in my mouth and over my face, almost as good as hot piss,(which is of course is the best thing to wash the spunk off with…only one client was good at that and I miss him..hope you will book soon if your reading this).
So a very happy client left and I was back in business and wanting more and more LOL..I love a happy client and love my job so much.
Still working on my next erotic book. “My Dirty Memoirs,” (available on Kindle under the authorship of Christopher Turney) now has three scorching reviews and I expect to get a fourth soon. I read a little of it myself and had a wank (or two) while recovering, and yes it is hot. I have been a dirty bastard in my time, and still am of course, but would you like me any other way?

Sunday, 21 July 2013


Getting excited about my visit to Edinburgh. Have already a very nice schedule shaping up so I advice people to book early. I like to give my clients 100% so I do not see one after another. Fans of this blog will understand that even a horny sex addict like myself cannot perform like a machine.

I have had an interesting week. Went for my health check and ended up chatting to the doctor about my writing, which was interesting. I also discovered that you now have to do your own anal swab. This is now done with a long cotton bud which is designed to break in half so that it can fit in the bottle to be sent off for testing. The reason I mention this is that my lady doctor burst out giggling while telling me not to insert it too far. Apparently she had several patients who have inserted the stick up their arse too far and it had broke and she then had to retrieve the stick manually. I could not help wonder why they don't just do it themselves. Having a few doctors as clients I suspect many will miss the opportunity to check out and probe a few tight arseholes. My own health check thankfully was fine. I can officially carry on licking the arseholes and sucking the cocks of my married clientèle safely for the foreseeable future.

One especially entertaining appointment this week involved a young gentleman who turned out to be very subtle and slim with a tight pair of arse cheeks that I was desperate to spread so that I could gobble his man cunt. He emerged from the shower already rock hard which is always a good sign. He was not too big in cock size, but a nice size, the size that is just right to slip down your throat. He had the sort of ball sack however that I fantasize about, loose and low hanging.

He lay face down on the masage couch and I began to massage his back and of course my fingers found their way down the crack of his arse to tease and probe his hairless little cunt. It was not long before he was moaning and lifting his arse off the table to allow me better access. I remember he looked back with the sweetest doe eyes just before I plunged between the cheeks of his arse and began to eat at his sweet tasting little tight cunt. He was now rock hard and his cocks eye was moist and wet with pre cum. With little effort he slipped onto his knees on the massage table and I was able to milk his rock hard cock and lick and suck on his gorgeous balls, while all the time eyeing up his arshole which was wet from my saliva and was winking at me, distracting my attention. I was greedy, so reluctantly dropping his balls out of my mouth I returned to eating his man cunt, shoving my wet, hot tongue deep between his cunt lips. The dirty bastard was moaning and groaning like a bitch on heat and so I indicated he might want to move to the bedroom to finish off.

On the bed I pushed his legs back around his ears while I squatted over his face so that he had a full view of my arsehole and balls. I naturally brought my arsehole close enough so that he could give it a good clean with his hot little tongue. While he was licking my arsehole I was fingering and stretching his puckered arsehole to make it ready to take my cock. When I thought he was stretched and moist enough I pulled him even further back, so that his cock was directly his mouth, and then I slid my cock deep into his arse. I then began to fuck him while he stroked my balls and fingered my arsehole. I fucked him hard and soon I heard him moan loudly and then I felt his arse ring grip my cock shaft in spasms as he unloaded his balls, shooting a load of hot ball cream over his own face.

After a few more strokes I slipped my cock out of his arse. His face was covered in hot man cream but he was still fucking horny, so kneeling over him so that he could gobble on my arsehole, I quickly stroked myself off and squirted my own ball load over his face to join his own load of spunk. You would have thought he had had a can of squirt cream emptied over his face. He was covered in sticky white thick spunk but he seemed to be very happy by the way he was licking the thick spunk off his lips.

He was my dirty fuck par excellence this week. I only wish I had wanted a piss, that would have been a perfect ending, to washed the thick spunk off his face with some hot man piss...still perhaps next time.

This week I have had no one to piss on me....where are my nice piss guys...NOT HAPPY. I hope Edinburgh guys live up to their reputation.
Prices..I have a nice apartment so prices are as follows:

Quickie..that is basically 15 min hand/oral £30

For massage and everything else the prices are:

Half hour is £50
Forty five minutes is £60
An hour is £70

Subsequent half hours or part of are £30

These prices of course include everything that can be done in the time allowed to indulge every pervy fantasy, I like to be impressed.

Friday, 12 July 2013



Just to let everyone know that I am back in Edinburgh on the 29/30/31st of July and this time I have booked a discreet, comfortable apartment near to the Edinburgh botanical gardens. Easy to find and with street parking.

I have already had a number of enquiries so please book early if you would like a sexy naked massage experience with lots of kinky extras. Fans of this blog will know exactly what I mean by that.

I have been really busy recently. writing and of course meeting lots of new kinky clients. One memorable experience was with a very pleasant guy who was so pleased he came back two days in a row. Huge thick cock and a pair of nice swinging balls that were a delight to gobble. He also had a very nice arsehole, nicely ridged, which I of course began to lick, suck and bite while I was wanking him off. He also liked a good fingering, which I was happy to give him, inserting two fingers into his tight little man cunt while I wanked and sucked on his thick cock. When he shot his load it filled my mouth and dribbled down my chin. There is nothing better than a mouthful of hot man cream straight from the udder.

I of course told him about my favourite kink and he obliged by returning the following evening with a full bladder. He delighted me by giving me a good hosing down, washing my rock hard cock in fresh, hot piss and turning me around with my arse in the air so that he could aim directly onto my arsehole. I was in heaven. He then wanted a massage which I began by working my fingers around his arsehole before inserting first one and then two fingers so that I was able to give him a deep prostrate massage. I then got him to kneel on the massage table while I inserted a thick dildo into his arsehole and began to fuck him, all the time wanking and sucking on this thick cock until he exploded, shooting spunk all over my face. I was very happy. Hoping if he visits again he might want to try a real cock in his cunt...well why not.

So guys looking forward to Edinburgh. Hope it is as sexy as last time and that you Scottish guys are still as kinky as ever.


Friday, 28 June 2013


In this job you meet all kinds of people and receive all kinds of requests. Some guys like to take things slow, have a massage, and then some sex, others are like whirlwinds.

On this particular occasion a guy I had seen several times arrived and was in a rush to get to a meeting. He quickly had a shower while I lay on the bed watching some porn and getting myself hard.

Out of the shower he was on top of me so that I could give his tight little arsehole a good licking out while he sucked on my hard cock. He has a puckered rim around his arsehole, and when you rim him you can feel the ridges with your tongue, and when he gets horny he opens just a little so that you can slip your tongue just inside his tight little hole. Quite delicious.

When I had him nice and wet he decided he wanted to sit on my cock so that he could ride me while I wanked him. His arse felt especially tight as he slipped his ring over my knob end. He slipped over my girth until I was buried ball deep inside his arse and he felt wonderfully tight. I thought I would explode to soon, but I held back somehow as he began to ride himself fast on my cock. His arse felt delicious as he slipped himself up and down my cock length, almost slipping my cock out of his arse, but not quite.

I however wanted to be in charge, and to give his arse a good pounding, so I indicated that he assume a doggy position with his face flat on the bed. This allowed me to penetrate his arsehole deep. I set to work using long, hard, but slow strokes. While I was fucking him I felt his hand move between our legs and as I fucked him he began to pull gently on my balls. This sent the most wonderful sensations running to the tip of my cock.
"Tickle my arsehole," I whispered.
He did more that that. As I fucked him he slipped a finger inside my arse ring and began to frig me while I fucked him. It was not long after he started frigging me that I shot my full ball load deep into his tight little arse.

As I was pumping my load into him he squeezed my balls again, almost squeezing the spunk out. I can still feel the delicious sensations that he gave me when he was doing this.

He then slipped off my cock and rolling over I took his rock hard cock into my mouth and sucked him off. He exploded seconds later with his cock in my mouth and two of my fingers inserted deep in his arsehole.

He left a very happy chap, and this all took exactly twenty minutes. Fast but furious fucking can sometimes be the best.

Keep hard.



Recovered from my adventures in York. I hate to say this but Edinburgh wins in the dirty, horny, sexy, stakes. It seems that the further south you go the less horny, less dirtier and more dull the guys become. Not to say that York was a waste of time. I met one very sexy guy with a big cock and a pair of big balls. He told me he was not into kinky and yet he sat on my face while I licked his arse out and sucked on his big balls. He rammed his thick cock down the back of my throat so that he was able to throat fuck me.....He gave by far the best, deliciously dirty sex, just the way I like it, and when he splashed his spunk into my mouth he tasted delicious. He alone would make another visit to York worthwhile. Getting hard just thinking about him.

So my next travels will be back to Edinburgh, probably toward the end of July. I may look at London as well, but that may be August now. I have to take care of my regulars here in Newcastle.

Talking of regulars I had a return visit from someone I saw two years ago. Nice guy, nice big cock. I lay on my back on my bed so that he could slip his cock right down the back of my throat. I am becoming quite an expert at this particular style of deep throat. The guys seem to love it. It tastes so nice when I feel their knob end hitting against the back of my throat, and sometimes I swallow into my throat, like a sword swallower. I admit that I need a little more practice in this art, so any clients with long thick cocks, please give me a call.

I have also been busy writing my new erotic novel. All you guys who claimed they were afraid to download, "My Dirty Memoirs," because their wives would see it, and think it was too gay, need not be afraid with this one. This is an historical novel that just happens to be raunchy, with lots of sex, dirty hot sex, with women and men and basically anything that moves. Lots of gore as well, that reflects those especially violent times. I hope that everyone will like it. I am certainly enjoying writing it.

I am off to entertain now, and then some more writing. Edinburgh guys, please book early for July. I missed lots of guys last time because it was such a short and hectic visit. This time hope to meet lots more chaps and have an even dirtier time than last time.

I am also booking an apartment this time, which will make things more discreet. Prices will be fifty for half an hour, seventy for an hour and quickies at thirty.

Take care and keep those cocks nice and hard...


Sunday, 23 June 2013

Writing the, "Depraved Memoirs of a Manservant"....

Another quiet Sunday. Not that I am complaining. It has been a busy week so nice to spend the day packing for my York trip tomorrow and writing.

First reminders about my York trip. I am available tomorrow, 24th June, from around 2.30ish pm until late, all day on the 25th and early morning on the 26th. I am based near the station and there is public parking very close if you require it. I am bringing oil, lube and some toys, so hopefully I will be able to meet most requirements. I am always nervous when going somewhere new and excited. Hopefully York will be as friendly and as exciting as my last visit to Edinburgh. I am looking forward to meeting some dirty minded guys who like nothing better than to get their arses rimmed and their cocks sucked. I am always happy to fuck a nice arse and happy to we hosed down with lots of hot piss. Yep, I like it dirty, (but clean arseholes and cocks please) as fans of this blog know.

Secondly I have started writing my second erotic novel. Not my second dirty memoirs, not yet. Instead this is an historical, erotic novel, every bit as dirty as, "My Dirty Memoirs," but this time set in sixteenth century Romania and Transylvania.
These stories are the memoirs of a young man who finds work at the castle of a lusty Count who is both bad  and cruel in every perverse way imaginable.The count likes sex, a lot, and he fucks men and women, taking pleasure in every perverse and depraved manner he is able. Our Young hero soon falls prey to the Count's lust's and unwillingly becomes both his manservant and companion and sexual toy.

This particular period was one of the most violent in history. It was a time when life was cheap and ordinary people were serfs, owned body and soul by the aristocracy. Witch hunts, burning alive, impaling and other unbelievably cruel tortures were used daily by the church and aristocracy to instil fear. It was a time of religious wars and persecutions. Protestants against Catholics and Christian against Muslim Turks . The hideous cruelty and depravity of the time provides a rich backdrop for our depraved tale of lust.

I have already written chapter one and I was hard and dripping by page three and had to stop.....HMMM

Will keep writing and hopefully it will not be too long before you will be able to read these scandalous tales.

Sunday, 16 June 2013


Fans of my book "My Dirty Memoirs," will know that the occasional outdoor fuck has been a little passion of mine. Got to be the right place and discreet of course.

I was once called to a farm to visit a regular client. He wanted some piss fun and a good fuck. Sounded fine to me. When I arrived, expecting to be taken into the farmhouse, I was instead whisked off to the distant corner of a corn field.

He, a big burly guy stripped his overalls off so that he was left wearing just a checked shirt and his boots. On all fours he spread his arse cheeks to give me a good view of his puckered mancunt. I was on all fours in seconds lapping at his puckered hole. 

I had drank loads of water on the drive up in preparation and so despite being rock hard I was dying for a piss. Standing in a filed of corn, stark naked, I let loose a stream of steaming hot piss, using his arsehole as the target. I soaked his arsehole and balls and back in piss. It was a horny sight, watching my hot piss hit his hole and watching how his arsehole winked at me, as thought trying to gobble some of the piss that hit it direct in its eye. 

When I had finished I had to taste my own piss of course and was straight down onto his puckered hole, eating it, licking and biting away until he was thrusting his mancunt hard onto my face.

Rock hard I then presented my cock end to his arsehole and mounting him like a dog mounting a bitch I watched my cock slide ball deep into his piss lubed arsehole. I fucked him hard until I felt I was near coming and then I pulled out and indicated that we change positions. This time I was on my back and it was his turn to piss on me. He knelt over me and pissed straight into my mouth while I wanked off . As I shot my load he moved his position slightly so that he could piss onto my shooting cock end. If you have never had this done then you are missing a treat. The hot piss meeting your hot spunk as it pumps out of your knobend is a memorable experience.

When he had finished pissing he finished himself of by hand as I fingered his hot sloppy arsehole. He shot his load as I was sucking on his knob end. Gallons of hot spunk followed his hot piss down my throat. 

I was drenched in piss, as was he, and my mouth was full of hot salty cum but....I was happy.

And I got paid. I love my job.


Sundays are quiet days usually. On the plus side it has given me an opportunity to organise for my trip to York.
I have booked a hotel as promised near the station, which is easy to find, discreet, and near to a pay and display car park.

I will be available for an appointment from 2 pm on Monday 24th. I am charging £50 for a half hour and £70 for an hour and I will do quickies at £30.

The half hour and hour+ appointments will include, if you wish, massage and of course a happy ending. Anyone who is a fan of this blog will know that my idea of a happy ending can mean anything from a wank, a blowjob, a good fingering naturally is included. I also fuck, (top only) and suck and rim and of course if you are the man for the job I love nothing better than a good hose down with some hot man piss.
And of course I do" cum in mouth"...what a waste otherwise.

After my recent visit to Edinburgh you guys in York have some serious competition to beat so I hope you are up to the job...only teasing.

I welcome all kinds of guys. Most of the men I see are married guys looking for a bit of discreet dirty fun, which is ideal for me. I see all ages from young inexperienced virgins to older guys wanting a chat and a fumble....All are welcome and hopefully will leave with a smile.

I can do longer appointments if wanted and happy to visit city centre hotels if that is easier for guys staying in the centre of York.

Hopefully the weather will be nice and I will get a chance to go exploring. If not, I am sure I will have plenty of cock to keep me happy which will give me lots of dirty stories to tell on this blog and in my next dirty book.

So please book early to avoid disappointment.


Thursday, 13 June 2013


For my many readers who think that all I ever think about and talk about is sex, then the fact that I also write more seriously on other subject's, may come as a surprise.

My ambition is to be a serious writer one day. Who knows if I will ever achieve that dream. I suppose that it will all depend on how good I am as a writer and of course if readers like and buy my work.

My first "serious" book is a collection of short stories inspired by my interest in everything Gothic or Pagan. I love ghost stories and things that go bump in the night. I love observing people and writing about those observations. I like looking at ideas such as being in love and what falling in love really means and of course about the hugely diverse nature of human sex and sexuality.

My new book is called "Shadow's and Reflection's" and you can BUY IT HERE for your kindle from Amazon. No, these stories will not have you hard and excited, but hopefully you will enjoy them and they will make you think and reflect. These stories illustrate that I can be serious, humorous, sensual, and reflective.

Again I would love feed back and for anyone who reads this book and who enjoyed it I you would be delighted if you would leave a review.

Please note that I write fiction under my pseudonym of Christopher Turney.

Wednesday, 12 June 2013


Remember "My Dirty Memoirs," is now available to download onto Kindle for your entertainment. If you are looking for something to keep you, "UP," all night, then this is the book you have been looking for. Filled with the lusty and often quite disgusting, recollections of my early adventures fucking on the farm with farm lads, huntsmen and rugby players, and then everything I got upto at college, this book lives up to its title as a, "dirty," book, in fact it is filthy, so please do not be shy.  Treat yourselves to a very dirty read. It has already had one five star review, but I am sure you will give it many more.

All the guys coming forward to see me in York, and Edinburgh, and Bath, should perhaps treat themselves to this book. It will be just a little taster of what you can expect when you visit me.

Competitively priced at £2.99, you can't complain, and I promise that you will not be disappointed. Already working on the next lot of adventures.


Monday, 10 June 2013

I have been so pleased with the response to my visit to York on the 24th and 25th/26th of June. I think I will require lots of  extra stamina to keep up with the horny guys of Yorkshire who are promising to give me lots of cock during my visit.

I cant wait. I love York, all those little dark alley ways to explore. I hope however that I will be viewing, and licking, and probing the dark alleys of the gentlemen of York, and have little time to visit the mediaeval sites. I know which I will find more enjoyable. I will of course also be available to visit gentlemen in centrally located hotels if they wish.

Fans of this blog will know all my little kinks, the dirty things that I like to write about on this blog. They know that I love a good clean arsehole to lick, a nice cock to suck, and some big balls to play with. I also love to ride a nice arse and everyone knows that my favourite, if your up for it, is a good hose down with some hot piss. Oh and of course I also offer the best massage in town, if you can keep your cocks under control for long enough, which once my fingers start probing is very unlikely.

So what have I been up to or rather into this week. The answer is one very nice virgin tight arsehole.

A youngish guy, early twenties turned up for a massage. He was only a few minutes on the table and I had his arse cheeks spread and my tongue was lapping at his tight puckered mancunt.

He was a virgin but desperate for some arse probing. I slipped my finger into his tight wrinkled hole which was well lubed with my saliva and he winced slightly. I could feel his arse ring grip my finger. He had one of those long entry tubes which are a delight to fuck because they grip your shaft as you slide in an out.
He was fucking tight however.

We eventually, after some good fingering, made our way into the bedroom, where on his knees, on the bed, I was able to spread his arse cheeks and to lube him ready to present my cock. He was so fucking tight it took me three attempts to push my knob end into his hole. I slipped in eventually however and then stopped while he accustomed himself to my cock inside him. I then pushed on, sliding my cock slowly into his mancunt, until I was fully inserted ball deep. I could feel his arse ring gripping my shaft, which sent delightful  sensations deep into my balls.

He whimpered like a bitch, but as he became accustomed to the strange sensation, and my cock hit that spot, he began to slide himself on and off my cock so that I was eventually fucking him hard, forcing my cock ball deep with each stroke, which he met eagerly, pushing his arse back to meet my thrusts.

It only took a few strokes before I heard him grunt and he unloaded his balls all over the bed sheet. It was glistening in spunk. I could feel myself also nearing the moment of no return, and I gripped him tight as I fucked him hard before withdrawing my cock and shooting my load over his arsehole and cheeks.

I was still so fucking horny even after I had come, and he was still rock hard as he lay with his arse in the air covered in my cream. Naturally I was soon down on all fours and could not resist licking some of my own ball cream off his arse, and all the time I was watching his juicy wrinkled  arsehole winking at me as though to say thanks for the visit.

Yep I am a dirty bastard, but then that is why you love me and return again and again.

Sunday, 9 June 2013


After all the excitement of Edinburgh I have decided to visit York. I am arriving on the 24th so will be available all afternoon and evening of the 24th, all day on the 25th and possibly early morning on the 26th of June in a luxury central location in York.

I hope that the guys in York do not disappoint. I am expecting them to at least to do better than the Edinburgh guys in horniness. I expect lots of nice Yorkshire arseholes to lick, balls and cocks to suck and if I am lucky some hot wet piss fun for which I am gaining an enviable reputation.

Of course I will be offering a more gentle massage and happy ending, either a wank or oral to completion for those who like their fun less raunchy. It is your choice.

The last few days have been lots of fun. The studio has been busy.

I saw one fabulous guy with a thick long cock and a wonderfully ridged arsehole which was a delight to rim. He knelt over my face to allow me to rim him while he lent forward and sucked on my cock and fingered my arsehole. He was obviously experienced with using his fingers and he had me rock hard as he slipped his fingers in and out of my arsehole in time to his sucking of my cock.

After I had given his arsehole a good licking he moved slightly back so that he was able to push his stiff cock into my mouth so that his knob end was rubbing the back of my throat.  I was gagging but boy it felt good.

His balls were all the time bouncing off my nose end as I swallowed his thick cock in and out of my throat. Temptation was of course too much and eventually I slipped my finger into his saliva lubed arsehole and began to frigg him which soon had him ready to shoot. The sensation of his cock throbbing in my mouth as he gushed a torrent of hot cream into my throat was amazing and just thinking about it is making me hard again.

So gentleman of York I expect lots of hot man cream delivered from big juicy balls. Remember shy boys get no cocks and just wank a lot.....but I digress.

I am offering my services for £50 half hour and £70 for the hour and I am prepared to do quickies for £30. I always do my best to keep the prices competitive and affordable and of course offer a service that is memorable which is why my clients return again and again again.

Please book early for my York adventure to avoid disappointment and look forward to meeting lots of nice chaps in York.

After York I am heading back to Edinburgh so please Edinburgh guys book early and will see you at the end of the month in a luxury location in Edinburgh.

After Edinburgh I am thinking of visiting Bath. So gentleman of Bath I hope you are standing to attention when I arrive :-)

Wednesday, 5 June 2013


I keep getting asked if I give a student discount. I have said no because I charge very competitive rates.

What I have decided to do however is to offer a £30 massage rate for 45 min but only for genuine students with proof of ID.

 Please bring ID with you.

Chris :)


Well Edinburgh was as expected wonderful. I met some very nice gentlemen who did Scotland proud. Only one treated me to my own special little kinky need, a good piss shower, but he did it not once but twice and then I sucked him off in the shower and he delivered a very nice load of hot spunk into my mouth.

I rimmed some very nice arseholes and was sucked very nicely by one gentleman who was quite a hunk. So despite it being a flying visit and having very limited hours on the first day I think I managed to live up to my blog reputation. I also of course gave some very nice massages which of course always ended up with one special type of massage...yep you know what I am talking about.

So I am planning another visit in a few weeks time. This time I will either book a much better hotel or an apartment. If anyone has any ideas please don't be shy. Somewhere nice and quiet of course and discreet but a little luxurious without being too expensive. I will try to keep the price competitive so that everyone is happy.

And was the weather not glorious. I had lunch twice in a very nice veggie restaurant and sat eating ice cream in Princes street gardens in the sunshine.

Do remember that I am also available for longer appointments, (or quickies) just ask. I hope to meed a nice groups of regular chaps in Edinburgh to compliment my lovely friends in Newcastle, who when they get to know me well have become more adventurous with familiarity...and I can be very familiar when I have my tongue up your arse and hopefully your finger up mine...but I digress into smut again and again and again...

I will let everyone know in advance when I next intend to visit. Please stay in touch and of course I am around all of June in Newcastle at the studio ready to entertain.

I could become quite used to this touring. If anyone would like to meet me anywhere in the country I will give it consideration.

Keep it up and hard,

Chris. :_)

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Today has been a day of the dirtiest fun.

Only two clients for a massage but more than enough to keep me busy.

First appointment wanted a massage. Tattoos and muscle and shaven headed. How could I refuse. Naked, out of the shower, the water running off his thick cock like he was pissing a river. I was well ermm erect and moist by the time he was on the table.

I began with the usual warm oil strokes down his back and around his tight arse cheeks. With every stroke his arse muscles began to relax and his began legs to open just that little bit more so that my fingers could stroke and probe around and into and over his pronounced arse ring. 

Then I had my hands around his balls and he was up on his knees on the massage table with his arse cheeks spread and my hand was between his legs and around his balls. I began pulling them gently, rolling and moulding them in my hand while a finger from my other hand slipped into his tight hairless arsehole ring.

On his knees on the massage table, head down and whining like a bitch in heat I was wanking cock in one hand, had a finger deep in his arsehole and was using my tongue to rim his arse ring as it gripped around my finger.

Eventually he rolled over onto his back and I rammed his cock down my throat and began to deep throat him while my finger again frigged his tight little man cunt.

I could feel his hands around my balls and then move between my legs and then I felt his finger probe for my arsehole and as he pushed his finger deep into my arsehole his cock slipped down my throat and a jet of hot cream squirted into my mouth...

He had a happy smile...

Then a couple of hours later another bald muscled hunk turned up.

An old client from a few years ago. On the table I began to massage him but his round arse ring was just too tempting and so in I went with my tongue..deep into his arse.

You know how some arseholes are just so suckable, rimmable, fuckable? Yes his was like that.

Very soon we were in the bedroom and we were doing a 69, my cock down the back of his throat and his was down mine.. of course I had to pull his legs up and while he gobbled my cock I had my tongue back up his arse again.

Yes I love to rim arseholes .

I of course had to fuck him and so still on his back but now now with his legs around his ears I slipped my thick cock up his man cunt. I fucked him hard. I loved the expression on his face as my cock thrust in and out of his arse.

I admit I can fuck for a long time and I take ages to come. Not this time. Before long I felt the tingling in my balls and rolling him onto his back so that his cock was almost touching his lips I shot my load deep in his arse.

Then a few more after squirt strokes and I slipped out of his juicy hole.

I then rolled onto my back and he was on top this time with his cock back down my throat while I slipped not one, not two, but three fingers in and out of his slippery, well fucked and greased man cunt.

After giving me a good face fuck we changed position and he lay on his back. Again my fingers slipped up his arsehole and I begant o suck on his cock. He was a nice suckable size, just right to slip into my throat where after a few strokes he shot his load. Gallons of creamy spunk filled my mouth and spilled out over his balls. Hmmmmmm

So that was my cock list today...and what will tomorrow bring and of course Edinburgh on the 3/4/5th of June. I can't wait.


Soon I will be in Edinburgh for two days of fun. I am looking forward to plenty of cock, nice arses to rim, a few mouthfuls of hot man spunk and hopefully, if I am lucky, lots and lots of piss.

For me there is nothing like a nice warm shower of hot man piss or/and/ followed by a load of spunk shot out of some hunky Scottish balls (after  having given a good hard massage in all the right places) That would be my ideal of heaven and keep me coming back again and again to Edinburgh.

Please book early however I don't want to disappoint anyone... as if I would.

 In Edinburgh on the 3rd (limited availability) and all day on the 4th and morning of the 5th June.

Chris..Newcastle Gay Massage...just google for the best masseur in town.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

OLDIES REPOSTED FOR YOUR PLEASURE,,,,and please treat yourselves to my memoirs.

As many of my blog fans from over the years may have noticed I have eventually found time to reblog some of my older adventures. I hope my new fans will enjoy them and remember that if you like my tales of sexual debauchery…all true from real life… then you can treat yourself to my memoirs..available at:
It has had a five star review..”.hot stuff you will need to shower after this blue epic. i would recommend reading it in the bath. It will save on tissues”
Enjoy and please if you do enjoy it give me a review… and of course if your in Newcastle sometime then book a massage :-)

SPUNK PISS AND GO...kinky sex at its best

Sometimes the horniest clients are the quickest, the quietest and the dirtiest.
It had been a quiet day and I was feeling really horny but had no one to play with. I was just thinking if a quick wank while watching some porn was called for when the phone rang.
A gruff guy answered and after a very brief conversation asked if he could pop around in half an hour for a half hour of fun. “ No problem” I said.
I had a quick shower and soon heard the door bell ring. I answered to a work man, complete with overalls. He was tall, unshaven and probably mid forties. Good looking with what appeared a nice body.
He came in and asked, “How dirty do you like it”.
 Erm “what do you fancy”, I asked, my mind waking to the possibilities this gruff guy could be offering.
“I want you to suck my cock, I want to spunk in your mouth and then to piss in your mouth and over your arse”. He grinned, “That ok”.
I was rock hard, this was exactly what I liked, a handsome man who likes dirty sex with out any of the foreplay. I invited him through to where the massage table, shower and bath were ready for business. I had this sudden fantasy of rubbing his hard body with lots of oil.
“Do you want a shower” I invited? He just smiled and unzipped his overalls. He was wearing a grey t shirt underneath and I could just see some white pants. I thought he was undressing but instead he pulled out a huge, hardening cock with a very round and bulbous knob. I just stared, fascinated.
 I’m not a great fan of really big cocks but on this occasion it just looked so good. A handsome guy with a donkey dong hanging out of his overalls has to be a top fantasy for most guys. I soon discovered that this donkey cock was a real mouth full. I took my jeans off and fell on to my knees beside the massage table and opened my mouth. He slid his cock into my mouth, I could taste the pre cum, Salty and sticky. He slowly forced it down my throat until I could take no more. I had my hand around the base of the shaft to stop anymore of his shaft from entering me. I was full, my jaw was aching, it was stretched so wide to accommodate this monster cock. I realised with some dismay that I had only swallowed half his cock. This was my first; truly, monster cock, not just big but a fucking donkey size dong and I was sucking it.
I can easily deep throat eight inches; but this one must have been over ten inches, nearer twelve, and very thick. He began to work it out and in slowly, but building up tempo as I relaxed my throat more to accommodate this monster cock. He pulled his cock out a couple of times, covered with my saliva and waved it before my face. I felt really dirty, used, but so excited.
I only wore a white t shirt and pants. My cock was of course also rock hard and I had pulled it out of the side of my pants so that I could stroke myself as he face fucked me. I could see him watching me; the lust in his eyes was obvious. He pulled his overall zip a little lower so that he could release his balls which now hung above my face, banging against my chin as he fucked my mouth. Fans will know how much big balls really, I mean, really, turn me on. I began to massage them as he face fucked me. They felt big and soft, covered in a soft fuzz of dark hair.  I wanted to take them in my mouth and devour them. I knew that I could take one, but could I take two?
“Get up”, he motioned “, pulling his cock out of my mouth, and take your fucking pants off and “Get your leg up here” he indicated the edge of the massage table.
 I did as he told me.
Laying half on the massage table, one leg half on so that my arse was fully exposed he knelt behind me and I felt his rough hands pull my arse cheeks apart with his huge, coarse hands. I felt his fingers rubbing my arsehole and then suddenly and unexpectedly I felt his tongue working itself into my arse hole. His tongue was hard, hot and wet. He forced it deep into my hole, as his hands stretched apart my cheeks, exposing me for his pleasure. He licked and sucked my arse hole for some five minutes, perhaps longer. I was moaning in pleasure. His hand meanwhile wanked my cock and pulled my balls as he bit my arse cheeks and stretched my hole with his fingers, all the time fucking it with his tongue. I have been rimmed many times, but this guy knew how to do it, really do it, roughly but expertly. My arse hole was dripping with his saliva which I felt running down my balls. Suddenly he stood and I felt him insert a finger deep into my arse hole. He began to frig me, gently but firmly. Done expertly, as he was doing it, finger fucking, for me is better than being cock fucked.  All the time he was fingering me he was saying “You like that you dirty bitch”.
 Yes I did, next stupid question.
I felt his hard cock rubbing against the inside of my leg all the time he was fingering me, it felt enormous. Removing his finger form my moist and hot arse hole I felt him manoeuvre his cock so that the knob end pressed against my arse hole. He began to firmly rub from top to bottom with his knob. The sensation was alarming, was he going to try and force that monster in my arse hole I wondered.  I then however felt a familiar hot sting as he let loose a stream of piss onto my exposed arsehole, expertly drenching my moist, stretched and fingered arsehole and the arse cheeks with what seemed like gallons of hot steaming piss, heaven. I love being pissed on. I always have. It’s my favourite fetish.
When he had finished he pulled me onto my knees in the puddle of his warm piss and presented his now rock hard cock still dripping with his salty piss to my mouth. I took it in my mouth and sucked his cock, once more taking it deep into my throat. I was so excited by this rough guy just using me for his pleasure that when he exploded, emptying his heavy balls inside my mouth, filling my mouth with hot, salty, thick, creamy spunk, I swear I nearly shot my load, but not quite.
His balls were full and he unloaded so much spunk that I could neither swallow nor hold all of it in my mouth and so it dribbled in strings of shimmering sperm from my lips and off my chin onto my T shirt. Some, of his load escaped my mouth in a large drop and fell onto my hard cock that throbbed in my hand. This spunk now provided the lube that I used to wank myself furiously as he finished shooting his load into my open mouth and over my face so that I was drenched. I love the taste of hot spunk shot straight out of a cock. I savoured his knob, continuing to suck his bell end as he softened in my mouth.
His half hard cock now hung before my face, my hungry eyes stared, amazed at its size and girth. I was sad he had finished but of course he hadn’t, not yet.  Catching some of his dribbling spunk in his fingers he used them to open my mouth, I thought to suck his sperm off his fingers but of course it was to open my mouth so that he could hose his spunk out of my mouth with his piss which he directed direct into my spunk filled mouth.  The sensation of being so used was amazing and I now shot my load over his boots. Dirty workmen boots covered in my creamy spunk. Phew. I stood my knees I admit were wobbly. He winked and smiled at me as he zipped up and wiping his boot on a towel as he bid farewell.
Amazing encounters such as this, even in my job, are rare but very, very special.  I enjoy something different sometimes and this was special and different and dirty, just the way I like it. I hope he visits again soon and is just as dirty. I’m ready for him.
Oh and he said that he was a fan of my blog as well. Isn’t everyone?


One of the joys of the festive period is that many young men decide to explore their sexuality and to put it bluntly discover the fun of anal sex. Over the years I have had the pleasure of deflowering many a virgin arsehole. This particular occasion however was especially delicious.
A young guy of Middle Eastern origins arrived having booked a massage. He was handsome and as I watched him undress to shower I noticed that he had a nice firm body and a sizable cock that was thick and of course cut. As he showered I noticed he had the almost perfect bubble butt, the sort that you fantasise about squeezing in your hands. I was getting fairly exciting thinking about what may lay between those bubble cheeks and I was pleased to notice as he emerged from the shower he was already semi hard himself.
The massage started as usual with long firm strokes over his back and then over his hard butt cheeks. As I massaged his butt cheeks I noticed how easily he was opening to allow my thumbs to dive down and stroke his tight little hole. As the massage progressed of course my exploration of his arsehole became more adventurous and it was not long before he was lifting his butt and spreading his legs to give me a nice view of his little man cunt. As I had guessed he was virtually hairless and his hole was small and puckered nicely.
Yes you know what I did next. My tongue had to explore his little cunt and I was delighted by the moans of pleasure that greeted my tongue as it stroked and teased his arsehole. He soon rose onto his knees to allow me full access and I set to rimming his rectum with relish. As my tongue was fucking his delicious little arse-hole my hands were pulling gently on his full balls and stroking his rock hard erection. His knob end was moist, dripping a profuse emission of pre cum. I rubbed his knob end with my fingers to collect as much of his natural cock lube as possible and then I massaged his tight little man cunt with his own pre cum. It tasted delicious as I attacked his virgin hole with my tongue once more savouring the taste of his pre cum and his arsehole. I know that I am a dirty bastard but isn't that the way you guys like it?
I indicated if he wanted to move into the bed room.
One in the bed room I knelt over his face to allow him to suck my cock deep into his throat which he did, so that he almost gagged. My fingers all the time were stroking between the cheeks of his arse and gently teasing his arsehole, at every stroke entering just a little more until eventually I had a whole finger inserted deep into his tight little arse cunt.
“Will you fuck me”, I heard him gasp in between sucking my rock hard cock deep into his throat. Sill question really.
On his back, his legs forced back so that his arsehole was fully exposed I gently began to slide my cock into his well oiled hole. First the knob disappeared and he winced and I stopped while he became used to the sensation. Then inch by inch I inserted my cock deep into his arse. Fully inserted, ball deep, I enjoyed the sensation of his arse around my cock, gently squeezing the shaft, the way only a virgin arse ever does, as it becomes used to the sensation of a hard cock buried in its warm depth.
Having waited a few seconds as I enjoyed the look on his face, one of pain mixed with lust and pleasure, I then began to fuck him properly. I fucked him with deep strokes, pulling almost out before plunging back in ball deep. He groaned and moaned and I noticed how hard his cock became as I was fucking him. Suddenly the sensations in his arse caused by my cock were too much and he exploded in jets of creamy white come that sprayed over his face. It was quite a sight watching his dark skinned face being covered with his own cream. As he was coming I could feel his arse ring tighten and untighten in spasms around my shaft as I continued to fuck him hard. Eventually feeling myself approaching climax I pulled out and shot my load all over his cock and balls. He was now covered in hot spunk, his own and mine combined. A very happy young man.
I need more virgins.


It is nice to be appreciated. One client and fan of this blog was especially very eager to give me a good time. He was a nice chap with a nice body and a pair of really nice heavy balls that I could not help but squeeze gently during his massage. In fact he had quite a nice little butt and arsehole which I enjoyed toying with. He had one of those soft, moist arse holes, hairless and dark lipped that invite inspection.
The real fun however started after the massage when I asked if he would like to retire to the bedroom to finish off. I asked him what he would like and he smiled and said that he wouldn't mind giving my arse some attention. Well of course I was not going to complain. Bending over on the bed my arse in the air I was happy to receive his hot, wet tongue deep into my anus. He could really rim arse. There are those who lick arse holes which are nice but then there are those who really know how to lick, tease and to tongue fuck an arsehole and this guy was one of them. Pulling my cheeks wide apart he had me gasping as his tongue pushed deep inside and then whipped around the lips and licked deep down to my balls before returning to plunge deep inside my pouting hole. While he was doing this he was squeezing my balls and stroking my cock which of course was rock hard.
Laying on my back he began to finger me and forcing me onto my side he pushed my leg into the air in a scissor motion which allowed him to push his finger deep inside me and at the same time lick around my penetrated hole with his tongue. Being fingered and licked at the same time is heaven. I was having countless mini orgasms as he fingered and licked me wet arsehole. I swear that I have a clit just inside my arse because if the person does it right I genuinely do have internal orgasms that make me squirm and scream. This guy was doing it right and I was exhausted but very happy.
I was however feeling just a little guilty and suggested that he straddle my face so that I could similarly please him. He did so but only so that his heavy balls hung just above my mouth which gave me every opportunity to suck and lick them which of course got him hard. While I was pleasuring him he was able to finger my arsehole and enjoy the view of my wanking as he continued to frig me. It was not too long before the sensation of his finger deep inside my arsehole and his big balls bouncing on my tongue had me shoot an arc of spunk over my chest. It was one of the best orgasms that I had had in a long time.
I cleaned myself up and asked if I could suck him off. He refused. His pleasure was to give me pleasure. I was not going to complain. I just hope he calls again soon.


Fans of my blog will remember this from about a year ago...still one of my horniest appointments ever hmmm
Although I am mainly gay I do often see couples who want a third person for some fun. I have been booked by wives who want to watch their husbands get fucked by a guy. I have been booked by husbands who want me to massage their wives, ending of course with masturbating their wives while they husbands watch and wank themselves. Sometimes I join in the fun and fuck the husband while he his mounting his wife or really what ever they want.
I was very lucky a few weeks ago to be invited to meet a very interesting and nice couple who certainly were up for some fun. He was nice looking with a nice body and I soon discovered very big balls which fans of this blog know are a particular fetish of mine. She in contrast was a little more plump than him but with enormous breasts.
After a few drinks the fun began. He wanted asked me to pull my jeans down and to come and sit beside him. He was at this time fully dressed as was his wife who sat opposite although she had opened her blouse to expose her ample breasts.
Sitting beside her husband wearing only some very brief white pants and my signature white T shirt I was oddly excited especially when he put his hand down my pants and began to play with my balls and cock. He then began to kiss me and ask me if I like my arse played with and if I would like to suck his cock.
Of course I agreed to everything I was so fucking horny.
Getting me to bend over he pulled my pants to one side exposing my arse hole and balls and cock which hung down between my legs as he massaged and stroked me with his massive hands. His wife of course could see everything and I heard her tell him to finger me and stick his tongue up my hole.
All this time he was still fully dressed; although looking back between my legs I could see that his cock was very hard and was straining against his thin cotton trousers. My cock was dripping and rock hard and when I felt his tongue ram itself deep inside my arsehole I was very near coming and that’s unusual for me because normally I can last for ages.
Then things got better as I felt a softer pair of hands massaging my balls and cock and another tongue begin working around my arse. His wife had undressed and was now naked apart from her stockings and was also working my arsehole with her tongue while wanking me. I looked around and saw that he was undressing and yes his cock was big and he was cut and gods did those balls swing between his legs.
He pulled her away from where she was working on my arse and pushed his cock deep into her mouth and began to face fuck her deep down her throat. I by this time had turned around and he now pulled me down onto my knees and lifting his arse up forced my face into his arse hole which I worked with my tongue while she sucked on his cock noisily. Rubbing his arse against my face he was all the time grunting with pleasure.
After a few moments he pulled away from both of us and indicated that we both move over to where some towels where laying on the wooden floor. Both his wife and I kneeled in front of him and I expected him to ask us both to double suck him. He was smiling however and said “I’ve read your blog so I know what you like”. With that he let out a jet of hot piss that soaked her tits and then he directed it straight into my mouth and over my white T shirt and pants. I was fucking soaked but so horny. A big cock hosing me down with piss is my idea of heaven and this was heaven.
When he had finished he indicated that I lay on the floor. “Not finished yet” he smiled again.
With this his wife pulled off my piss soaked underpants and T shirt and then she stood over me so that I had a perfect view of her shaven cunt and watched mesmerised as she now unleashed a stream of piss over my cock and balls that was still rock hard. I noticed that he was also rock hard and wanking at the sight of me being pissed on by his wife. I had never had a woman piss on me so the novelty was amazing.
I was then asked to lay down again while she straddled me with her cunt posed over my face which was quickly filled by his thick cock. If you have never been close up to a cock fucking a cunt or arse then you will not know how fucking exciting that is. Watching that thick cock ride her cunt and those bog balls all the time swinging was amazing. She; while getting fucked by that wonderful cock was sucking greedily on my cock which was dribbling with pleasure. I felt that I may be near shooting my load and I tried to hold back so that I could really enjoy this experience.
I could not help myself. I had to lick her clit as his cock thrust in and out. It was wonderful, a little like licking a tiny penis. It was then even more exciting when he withdrew his cock and pushed it into her arsehole and gave her a really deep arse fuck. She was obviously used to taking it up there and judging by how wet her cunt was she was obviously enjoying it. I began again to lick her swollen clit and to my surprise I was rewarded by a spray of hot sticky stuff which I gathered was her Cumming. I had never before seen a woman cum. I had seen a woman orgasm but never cum, especially in my face. I was both fascinated and excited.
Pulling his cock from her arse and then ramming it back in several times I saw his arse hole tense and I knew that he was shooting his load deep into her arse. Watching a cock jerk as it shoots its load is an experience. When he had finished unloading his balls into her arsehole he slowly withdrew his now semi hard cock which still dribbled white cream. In fact white spunk was dribbling out of her well fucked arsehole and over her wet cunt. I was underneath watching in close up, amazing, this wonderful fuck had taken place just inches above my face which was now covered with a mixture of cunt juice, spunk from her arsehole and piss. HMMM Bliss.
“Oh you’re not finished he said”. As I stood up thinking they had finished.
“She likes a mouthful”.
I then had to stand and wank off into her mouth as he fingered my arsehole and squeezed my balls. It was therefore a full load that squirted out of my knob into her mouth. She swallowed it all.
I have to say of all my experiences, which have been many; this particular event was one of the dirtiest and most amazing experiences that I have ever experienced. Even if I had to drive home with just my jacket on and of course no knickers which were in a plastic bag. But seriously it was not a problem. And I got paid.
I hope they book again because I can’t get that sight of his cock working in and out of her arse out of my mind. In fact I think, considering how hard my cock is that I may have to go and have a wank myself…My mind is so dirty but I’m very glad that I do the job that I do.

Friday, 17 May 2013


Just a little note to say that I will be in Edinburgh for a very brief visit on the 3rd June for one afternoon only. I am staying in the centre of town just off the royal mile and will have limited afternoon and early evening appointments. Possibly some late as well.

I will be offering one rate massage appointment with of course all the extras. I have not fucked any tight Scottish arseholes for a long time and of course would love to try the Scotish waterworks..getting hard again thinking about that.

I know how horny Scotsmen can be in private and of course I offer discreet little liaisons for married men and horny kinky guys so please watch the website at Newcastle Gay Massage for details and please book early to avoid any disappointments.

If I meet lots of horny guys you never know I may make a visit to Scotland a regular thing. I love Edinburgh. I see lots of Scots guys who are in Newcastle on business so hopefully I may see them more regularly if I am in their home city.

Can't wait..



I have had a fantastic two weeks. Thank you to all my new clients and all my old clients who I have seen over the last two weeks. Seriously I have rimmed some of the nicest arseholes and fucked them hard and long over the last two weeks. I have also had my arse rimmed and fingered. One special guy in particular I will remember because he gave me one of the best finger fucks I have had in a long time. He had full finger inserted into my arse and then he rimmed around the ring while his finger was inside me…fuck Im hard thinking about it… and he managed to hit that perfect spot. I am sure I have a clit inside my arse hole. He told me afterwards that my arse ring gripped his finger so tight he thought it was there permanently….hmmm nice thought.
I would like to thank three people in particular who gave me my kinky special…..yes a nice piss shower. One who pissed in my mouth before turning me round and giving my arse hole a nice wash with his warm piss, another who pissed on me twice, after me first sucking him off in my mouth so that of course he was obliged to wash out the mess he had made and finally the piss king who over an hours appointment rimmed me, fingered me and I also fucked him three times, long and hard…..and best of all he pissed, and I mean pissed, a full LONG HOT PISS shower not once but five times… I was very wet and very, very, happy.
And of course I have given some people some wonderfully sex massages using warm oils, which is not only relaxing but so damned sexy. And remember of course everything is at your pace. You just want a massage and a wank that’s fine. One visitor had a massage and then asked me to jut watch him wank. Happy to do that especially when that guy shot enough man cream to fill a mug….mind you I would have preferred it all to have been in my mouth…but I am here to please.
So if your horny and fancy a sexy naked massage with a horny guy please do not be shy call Chris and visit Newcastle gay massage….Shy boys get no cock.

Wednesday, 8 May 2013


I am often asked why I do this work. There is no one reason but several. Yes I certainly like the money but probably a stronger motivation is that I like sex, I have always enjoyed giving and receiving pleasure and the reason I decided to make that into a business is because I wanted to offer a professional service, especially to men who were perhaps awkward about their sexuality. Around ninety per cent of the men I see are married guys who want to come to a place where they feel safe, feel comfortable and which is discreet. They want to come somewhere they can have a relaxing massage and some sexual fun and where they do not feel pressurised to do anything more than they feel comfortable with. I have guys who just like a massage to finish with a wank or a blow job, others who want a little anal rimming and perhaps fingering and others of course who want fucked. Being kinky I also like the more adventurous who like a little watersports but that is just my personal fetish.....Love a warm piss shower...hmmmmm

I massage virgins wanting a gentle first time experience, which is always enjoyable, I see rugby players, footballers, business men, plumber’s, (who are always kinky, along with builders) the retired. Basically I have met every sort of guy imaginable. I love variation and I love to chat and of course to indulge their fantasies.  I also meet a lot of disabled guys which is nice. My work studio is wheelchair friendly and as an animal lover of course blind dogs are welcome.

The next question I am frequently asked is, “how do I keep going, how do I keep it up”…..Good question.

Well, I do not work every day. When I am available I see no more than three clients. This means that I stay fresh and never become tired. Nearly all my clients like me to get hard of course and most like to stroke my cock and to perhaps slip their fingers up my tight little arsehole, which is very nice, but not all require me to fuck them or to cum. This means that in say three appointments I may only shoot my load once. I have sometimes cum more often than that but for me the main pleasure is pleasuring my clients. In fact one of the bonuses, if you see it that way, of this job, is that over the years I have learned to control my orgasm so that I can last up to two hours, which for the hornier guys is great. I have actually fucked a guy for a full hour, which he loved. Better than a work out in the gym I can assure you.

For new readers or readers who have not visited me yet I will go through a usual scenario.
When you arrive I always ask you to shower, hand shower or full rain shower. I have a shower room which everyone loves. When you shower I point out that the massage is very intimate so please wash all intimate areas…cock, balls and arsehole area please…thank you.

Then you hop onto the massage table. We are both naked. I then begin the massage using warm scented oils (if you do not require scented (that is using quality essential oils) please specify when booking. I massage all over your back and between your buttocks and around your arsehole. I then massage fully your back professionally and around the buttock and anal areas and the shoulders.
Often by this time you are already very hard and probably have started feeling me…which I love. I then usually stand at the head of the massage table to massage the shoulders. I am usually rock hard myself at this stage and you can a suck on my cock if you wish, I have actually cum once or twice with some very good blow job guys who could take me right down their throats…but I digress.

I then massage the legs and then back to the buttocks and putting my hand between your legs give your balls and cock a massage and sometimes I cant resist doing a little tongue massage around your arse hole…often here the massage ends for obvious reasons and we go into the bedroom (where there is usually some really hot porn on the large wall mounted television) or sometimes we finish on the massage table…other times the client will roll over so that I can massage his front. Chest, stomach, arms and hands and sometimes the face…then the cock and balls and a good deep throat is often called for. After that it is what ever you desire…the kinkier the better or just a good suck and cum in mouth…..whatever you fancy really.
So if this sounds good to you then give me a call.
I’m excited writing about it……

Monday, 6 May 2013


Hi everyone. I hope that you are all enjoying the bank holiday. I am. I had a wonderful two hour appointment with a really kinky guy. I don't think I have had such fun for a very long time. Lots of piss fun. I have never know a guy piss so much and so often. five times in two hours I was thoroughly hosed down and at the end he pissed on my cock as I wanked myself off...hmmmm. I may relate the full story later or I may keep it for my next book.

I am pleased to let everyone know that I now have a tumblr account. On Tumblr I can possibly be even naughtier and I can put some very naughty photos on and of course you can share yours as well if you have an account and follow me.....we all want to see how dirty you guys can be...all consenting adults of course...

Remember I am around all day today so please give me a call if you fancy an appointment...with the dirtiest masseur in town..

Saturday, 4 May 2013

"MY DIRTY MEMOIRS"....a very dirty book

My “dirty” early memoirs Book 1 is still available on kindle for the price of £2.99. Please treat yourselves and have a very “hard” bank holiday weekend. I would also love more reviews "if" of course you enjoyed the book. My memoirs may also give you lots of ideas for when you visit…..

To wet your appetites here is a short excerpt.


I of course took hold of it at once and began to stroke it. He was a nice size, a good seven inches and thick. As I stroked his cock, gently pulling the foreskin down to expose his red and moist knob end, I used my other hand to squeeze his balls which hung low, swinging back and forth as he forced his cock in and out of my hand, very much enjoying the sensation of being held. I could not resist using my tongue on his knob end. Licking the exposed glands of his cock I eased him into my mouth and very soon I had his cock deep in my throat, sliding his tasty knob as deep into my throat as I could manage. His cock tasted hot and salty and I fucked him with my mouth while my other hand rolled his big balls in their sack. I pulled on them gently in rhythm with my face fuck which seemed to be rewarded with some very appreciative moans.

His legs had opened wide allowing me full access to his cock and balls and as he lay further back against he fallen tree I was able to move my fingers further back from his balls and to touch his arsehole. His arsehole was hot and as I circled its crinkled lips with my finger I knew that I wanted to see it and taste it.

Pulling back from his cock I indicated that he roll over. I knew from the look in his eye that he was unsure but he did as I indicated and cocked his arse up allowing me to again grab his cock between his legs. As I pulled his cock back he pushed his arse higher and his cheeks parted more and more until I was greeted with the sight of his arse ring. Filled with lust I drove my face between his arse cheeks and stroked his arse-hole with my wet tongue. He moaned with pleasure and forced his arse even further into my face. I tongue fucked him, forcing my tongue into his wrinkled hole. His arse was hot, wet with my saliva and desperate; I knew by the way he was forcing his arse onto my face, for more than my tongue. Releasing his cock, which I had been milking furiously between his legs, I quickly undid my own pants and released my own rock hard cock from its imprisonment. I now positioned him so that I could present my rampant knob end to his hole easily and I proceeded to rub my cock against his eager to be fucked arse, teasing him and moistening his already saliva soaked wrinkled hole with my pre cum. I heard him whimper that he had never done this before, but I was too aroused to care to be gentle. I wanted to fuck this guy so much and so I pushed my knob end heartlessly against his arsehole and as he relaxed his sphincter muscle, for just a second, I slipped my knob in…..