Dirty Couples Have More Fun

I occasionally see couples. Couple appointments go only two ways. They are either great fun or they are a disaster. That at least has been my experience.

I was called by a guy who was staying at a local hotel with his wife. He sounded nervous on the phone while he explained that his wife had a fantasy of watching him being arse fucked while she watched. I told him that her fantasy would be no problem and that it was a quite common fantasy and a request that I had serviced several times. He explained that his wife probably would only watch and not join in. I assured him that that was fine and at the end of our conversation he sounded much more relaxed. Guys do like straight forward dirty talk I find.

A few hours later I arrived at the hotel at the agreed time and had a glass of wine and five minutes chat.  They were a lovely couple in their mid forties. She was slim and a professional. Nicely dressed and spoken with very pert breasts which strained against a crisp white shirt. He was dressed in jeans and shirt and was slim with a goatee beard, just touched with a sprinkle of white, which made him look quite distinguished. After chatting for a while we agreed that she would leave the room for a few minutes to allow us two chaps to get started. She would then would return and pretend that she had found her husband with another guy and would insist on watching him being arse fucked as a punishment.

After she left the room I undressed, leaving on only my little white pants. I then watched as he undressed completely. I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my legs apart and I noticed that his cock was already half mast as I nodded for him to kneel between my legs. He pulled my pants to one side to reveal my now  rock hard cock and my balls, which freed, now dangled nicely out of the side of my pants. He then began to gingerly stroke my cock, but at my demand he soon took it in his mouth. It was a delicious feeling as his lips nervously slid over my knob end. He began to suck on my now wet knob, his saliva mixing with my pre cum. It was a delicious feeling and I pushed gently on the back of his head and watched as my cock slid deep into his mouth. He gagged a little as my knob end hit the back of his throat but he was by now really horny and without any encouragement began to slide his mouth up and down the length of my shaft giving me a good face fucking.

I  was enjoying being sucked but I knew what I was there for which was to fuck his arse while his wife watched and I knew that she would be back very soon. Pulling my cock out of his mouth I indicated that he get on the bed on all fours where I pushed his head down making his arse raise in the air. He had nice arse cheeks, firm, almost a bubble butt and as he pushed his arse up his cheeks opened and I had a good view of his round puckered man cunt, nice and round, slightly darker than his skin, and puckered nicely, the sort that demands an enquiring tongue. Spreading his arse cheeks wide and quite roughly with my hands I fell onto my knees behind him and began to lick vigorously around his arsehole before licking from his balls, which I was squeezing gently, up to his arsehole and then down again. I repeated this several times which he obviously enjoyed by the way he pushed his arse onto my face while he moaned with pleasure.

While I was licking his cunt I heard the hotel room door open and I glanced around to see his wife smiling as she pulled a chair close to that she could watch as I licked her husbands arse and pulled on his balls. I licked around his arse and balls while she asked him if he was enjoying himself. I heard him mumble something like "Yes, shit, yes, shit , it's fantastic." I glanced around again and noticed that she was now sitting back on the chair, her legs spread and to my surprise she had pulled her panties to one side so that I could watch her rubbing his cunt lips.

On with my job I thought as I climbed on to the bed, and standing over her kneeling husband positioned my cock so that I could rub it against his arsehole. I was standing with my legs spread of course which gave her a good view of my balls dangling, my arsehole of course and my cock as it slowly slid into her husbands virgin arsehole. He was tight and it took me several attempts to get inside him. He let out a cry of pain and pulled away as my knob end eventually slipped into his arse. I had to grab his hips and hold him firmly as I pushed on, slipping my full length into this tight man cunt. Once inside I stopped for a short time to give him time to become accustomed to having a cock inside him, and then I began to fuck him properly, pulling my cock nearly out before slipping into him fully. He was I have to say a nice tight fuck, just what I like.

My knees however soon began to hurt. Riding a tight arse in that position is great to watch but hard on the muscles. After a good hard ride I therefore pulled out and standing up and turned around so that my cock was virtually level with the face of his wife who now was rubbing her cunt vigorously and moaning. Dirty bitch I thought, but then again she was having a private porno shoot performed right before her eyes. To my surprise however however she reached out with her free hand and grabbed my cock and began to wank me. Her husband meantime had turned himself around and was not positioned between my legs so that he could access my arse, which to my surprise he began to lick, sliding his tongue between my arse cheeks and over my arsehole while his wife wanked me with one hand while she rubbing her cunt with her other What a fab appointment I thought.

The appointment then became even better because his wife, who was not supposed to be joining in, climbed onto the bed and indicated for her husband to get his head between her legs. She was still dressed, but had pulled her skirt up to her waist. She was wearing little lacy knickers which she had pulled to one side to reveal a little, neatly trimmed, pussy. His arse was of course back in the air and so in slipped my cock once more. While I fucked his tight little arse he licked his wife's cunt out as she lay, her legs spread, moaning with pleasure as his tongue slipped between her red cunt lips. He must have been good with his tongue, or the whole dirty scenario must have been a real turn on, because it was not long before she orgasmed with a loud moan and pushed his head hard against her cunt while she rolled from side to side. I all the time was still fucking her husbands arse. Sensing I was nearing orgasm however I pulled out and as he lifted his cunt juice soaked face up from her cunt I knelt over him and sprayed his face with my spunk. I shot a heavy ball load that sprayed over his face and dribbled down over and off his chin. Quite a sight.

This I thought is how an appointment should be. Christmas is looking good I thought as I left with a ten pound tip. Very nice evening I thought.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and hope to have lots of dirty sexy adventures in 2014 XXX

Chris.

BIG BALLS...And I'm Back And Dirtier Than Ever

Hi everyone. It seems ages since I last posted anything but the last couple of months have, in one way or another, been very busy. I have fully recovered from my illness thankfully, (nothing sexual I hasten to add) and have had a mountain of personal and work stuff to catch up with. The erotic massage is now fully back in business and once again I am hoping to visit my favourite destination Edinburgh, in the New Year.

Of course when I was ill I could think of nothing but cock and since starting back to work I have enjoyed one long, cock sucking, arse fucking, pissing, festival. I know of course that my readers like to know the gory, lust filled details of my adventures, so I will begin by relating one recent encounter with a very nice chap who visited me for an hours massage appointment. I had seen him before, when he had been quite shy, but this time he was rampant and ready for action.

He is a muscular guy in his late thirties, fit with a nice hairy chest, and a very thick and long circumcised cock, but best of all he has huge bollocks, the sort that swung as he walked. I noticed with glee that he was already semi hard as he dried himself after his shower and as I watched him walk over to the massage table, balls swinging, especially so as he hoisted himself on to the table, I knew this was going to be a fun appointment.

I began the massage as usual by rubbing the hot oil over his back, but to be honest I was so fucking horny after watching his balls swinging inches from my face as he had climbed onto the table that I soon had my fingers down the crack of his arse where I began to rub and probe his puckered man cunt. Teasing his tight arsehole with my fingers soon had him moaning like a little bitch on heat. Knowing, being a fuck expert, that he was horny as fuck and ready I slipped a finger into his arsehole, just a little, and then as he lifted his arse just slightly, I slipped my hand around his heavy balls and began to pull on them gently. His balls felt soft and big and round in my hand as I caressed them in their soft sack, pulling on them gently but firmly. I love the feel of big balls and of course I could not help myself. My regulars all know that I like nothing better than to get my tongue rammed up a tight arsehole and so I soon had my face between the tight butt cheeks of this guys arse and began licking his puckered hole like a slut possessed.

As I slurped away at his tight man cunt I was all the time pulling on those low hanging bollocks which had him moaning with pleasure and pushing his arse hard against my face. I was in heaven, as was he, which became more obvious when he slipped half off the table, leaving one leg raised, so that I could have full access to his arsehole and balls. I fell onto my knees where I had a really good view of his hanging bollocks and of his puckered arsehole wet with my saliva. I then began to lick and bite his arse hole and to suck on his balls while I wanked his big horse cock. I felt like a real fucking dirty whore...I love dirty sex.

Eventually he pulled away and standing before me pushed me back slightly. I was still on my knees, and he held his still hard cock a couple of inches from my mouth, and then, smiling wickedly, he released a jet of hot piss that sprayed over my face and showered over my chest and cock and balls. There is nothing like a hot piss shower. I love being pissed on, the feeling of submission and the hot piss pouring over me had me mad with passion. When he had finished pissing I leaned forward and took his salty, moist cock in my mouth and began to deep throat him, all the time caressing his big balls, pulling on them gently. I could feel his knob end rubbing the back of my throat, making me gag, but I did not care, his cock tasted delicious.

Reluctantly he pulled his cock from my mouth and indicated that I stood. He then bent me over the massage table and putting his hand between my legs forced my legs apart so that he had access to my arsehole. On his knees he then pulled my arse cheeks apart and applied his hot tongue to my arsehole and began to lube me up with his tongue. The delicious sensations of his strong tongue licking around my butt hole had me squirming and moaning as I wanked my cock. When he thought I was wet enough he began to frig me, first with one finger, and then with two. He had me now, he could have done whatever he had wanted with me. I love being tongued and fingered. He frigged my arse for for a long time, spitting on my arsehole and on his fingers to make sure I was moist so that his fingers could slide easily in and out of my tight man cunt.

All the time, while he was pleasuring me, I was moaning and wanking myself. After a while he stood up and I immediately fell back onto my knees and again took his huge cock into my mouth. As he began to face fuck me I slipped my hand behind his balls and inserted first one finger and then two fingers into his tight arsehole and began to frig him as he fucked my mouth. It did not take long before he climaxed, filling my my mouth with hot spunk that dribbled out of my mouth and down my chin onto my chest. As he emptied his balls into my mouth I could feel his thick cock jerking in my mouth and I could not help but think that I am so lucky to be doing a job that gives, pleasure, that is pleasurable, and for which I get paid. And this guy gave me a nice tip as a thank you. Super nice I thought.

As he left I squeezed his bulge and was delighted to feel that he was still semi hard. I had done my job well. Can't wait for his next visit and what he may want to do then.

I'm rock hard after writing this. I have so many wonderful experiences to reveal in my next book of memoirs. Remember guys that “My Dirty Memoirs” by Christopher Harlot, is still available on Amazon Kindle. An excellent Christmas gift to yourselves. I am also available most days for appointments up to Christmas, CUM soon.

Chris

Piss fun specials.

Love piss fun. To encourage my favourite little perversion I am going to offer a little deal for those who like to indulge. I love nothing better than to be pissed over and to suck cock and rim nice clean arseholes. So if you are into a little kinky fun and fancy obliging then give me a call. I am offering this special for a short term only for my pervy but nice clients.

 Look at my website www.newcastle-gaymassage.com.

Back AT LAST..

Hi everyone I’m back at last. Have been off with an illness (nothing sexual) which meant I had to have lots and lots of rest. Nice but dull. Now I am back working again and it is so nice to have lots of nice cocks and arseholes to lick and suck and play with again. 

My first client back was especially nice. Youngish guy, nice body and a nice sized cock and best of all huge fucking balls…YES, i shouted with joy in my head when I slipped my hand between his legs as he lay face down on the massage couch and I began to lick his puckered little arsehole. Gods he tasted nice, and as he lifted up to allow me greater entry with my tongue into his arsehole, his balls swung nice and low allowing me to bounce them in my hand.

I continued licking and sucking on his puckered hole, loosening him up so that my tongue could slip inside and then of course a finger. This carried on for some time until eventually he was on his knees on the massage table, my tongue up his arse, his balls in one hand and his cock in my other. Nice, and of course he was whimpering away, covering my hand in pre cum which oozed out of his shiny, purple knob end. Being me of course I had to suck on his knob end and and all that salty pre cum tasted so nice as he slipped in and out of my mouth as my finger slipped in and out of his arsehole.

Eventually we ended up in the bedroom and assumed a classic 69 position, him on top. His stiff cock sloping in and out of my mouth and then I had his big heavy balls to play with which had me in ecstasy. Licking and sucking on those balls was so delicious, and all the time two of my fingers frigged his tight man cunt. He of course was sucking happily on my cock while both his hands were wrapped around the cheeks of my arse so that he could use the fingers of both hands to tease my arsehole. If you have never had a double fingering then I highly recommend it.

It was not long before I felt his arsehole ring grip my fingers and a heavy ball load of thick gooey spunk exploded in my mouth forcing me to swallow most. There was to much hot creamy spunk that some escaped over my chin onto my face and covering my neck and hair in sticky cream. He tasted so fucking good however. I love spunk, love to have it sprayed in my mouth and over my face, almost as good as hot piss,(which is of course is the best thing to wash the spunk off with…only one client was good at that and I miss him..hope you will book soon if your reading this).

So a very happy client left and I was back in business and wanting more and more LOL..I love a happy client and love my job so much.

Still working on my next erotic book. “My Dirty Memoirs,” (available on Kindle under the authorship of Christopher Turney) now has three scorching reviews and I expect to get a fourth soon. I read a little of it myself and had a wank (or two) while recovering, and yes it is hot. I have been a dirty bastard in my time, and still am of course, but would you like me any other way?

Chris

EDINBURGH ON THE 29/30/31st of JULY

Getting excited about my visit to Edinburgh. Have already a very nice schedule shaping up so I advice people to book early. I like to give my clients 100% so I do not see one after another. Fans of this blog will understand that even a horny sex addict like myself cannot perform like a machine.

I have had an interesting week. Went for my health check and ended up chatting to the doctor about my writing, which was interesting. I also discovered that you now have to do your own anal swab. This is now done with a long cotton bud which is designed to break in half so that it can fit in the bottle to be sent off for testing. The reason I mention this is that my lady doctor burst out giggling while telling me not to insert it too far. Apparently she had several patients who have inserted the stick up their arse too far and it had broke and she then had to retrieve the stick manually. I could not help wonder why they don't just do it themselves. Having a few doctors as clients I suspect many will miss the opportunity to check out and probe a few tight arseholes. My own health check thankfully was fine. I can officially carry on licking the arseholes and sucking the cocks of my married clientèle safely for the foreseeable future.

One especially entertaining appointment this week involved a young gentleman who turned out to be very subtle and slim with a tight pair of arse cheeks that I was desperate to spread so that I could gobble his man cunt. He emerged from the shower already rock hard which is always a good sign. He was not too big in cock size, but a nice size, the size that is just right to slip down your throat. He had the sort of ball sack however that I fantasize about, loose and low hanging.

He lay face down on the masage couch and I began to massage his back and of course my fingers found their way down the crack of his arse to tease and probe his hairless little cunt. It was not long before he was moaning and lifting his arse off the table to allow me better access. I remember he looked back with the sweetest doe eyes just before I plunged between the cheeks of his arse and began to eat at his sweet tasting little tight cunt. He was now rock hard and his cocks eye was moist and wet with pre cum. With little effort he slipped onto his knees on the massage table and I was able to milk his rock hard cock and lick and suck on his gorgeous balls, while all the time eyeing up his arshole which was wet from my saliva and was winking at me, distracting my attention. I was greedy, so reluctantly dropping his balls out of my mouth I returned to eating his man cunt, shoving my wet, hot tongue deep between his cunt lips. The dirty bastard was moaning and groaning like a bitch on heat and so I indicated he might want to move to the bedroom to finish off.

On the bed I pushed his legs back around his ears while I squatted over his face so that he had a full view of my arsehole and balls. I naturally brought my arsehole close enough so that he could give it a good clean with his hot little tongue. While he was licking my arsehole I was fingering and stretching his puckered arsehole to make it ready to take my cock. When I thought he was stretched and moist enough I pulled him even further back, so that his cock was directly his mouth, and then I slid my cock deep into his arse. I then began to fuck him while he stroked my balls and fingered my arsehole. I fucked him hard and soon I heard him moan loudly and then I felt his arse ring grip my cock shaft in spasms as he unloaded his balls, shooting a load of hot ball cream over his own face.

After a few more strokes I slipped my cock out of his arse. His face was covered in hot man cream but he was still fucking horny, so kneeling over him so that he could gobble on my arsehole, I quickly stroked myself off and squirted my own ball load over his face to join his own load of spunk. You would have thought he had had a can of squirt cream emptied over his face. He was covered in sticky white thick spunk but he seemed to be very happy by the way he was licking the thick spunk off his lips.

He was my dirty fuck par excellence this week. I only wish I had wanted a piss, that would have been a perfect ending, to washed the thick spunk off his face with some hot man piss...still perhaps next time.

This week I have had no one to piss on me....where are my nice piss guys...NOT HAPPY. I hope Edinburgh guys live up to their reputation.
Prices..I have a nice apartment so prices are as follows:

Quickie..that is basically 15 min hand/oral £30

For massage and everything else the prices are:

Half hour is £50
Forty five minutes is £60
An hour is £70

Subsequent half hours or part of are £30

These prices of course include everything that can be done in the time allowed to indulge every pervy fantasy, I like to be impressed.

KINKY, SEXY, EDINBURGH

Hi,

Just to let everyone know that I am back in Edinburgh on the 29/30/31st of July and this time I have booked a discreet, comfortable apartment near to the Edinburgh botanical gardens. Easy to find and with street parking.

I have already had a number of enquiries so please book early if you would like a sexy naked massage experience with lots of kinky extras. Fans of this blog will know exactly what I mean by that.

I have been really busy recently. writing and of course meeting lots of new kinky clients. One memorable experience was with a very pleasant guy who was so pleased he came back two days in a row. Huge thick cock and a pair of nice swinging balls that were a delight to gobble. He also had a very nice arsehole, nicely ridged, which I of course began to lick, suck and bite while I was wanking him off. He also liked a good fingering, which I was happy to give him, inserting two fingers into his tight little man cunt while I wanked and sucked on his thick cock. When he shot his load it filled my mouth and dribbled down my chin. There is nothing better than a mouthful of hot man cream straight from the udder.

I of course told him about my favourite kink and he obliged by returning the following evening with a full bladder. He delighted me by giving me a good hosing down, washing my rock hard cock in fresh, hot piss and turning me around with my arse in the air so that he could aim directly onto my arsehole. I was in heaven. He then wanted a massage which I began by working my fingers around his arsehole before inserting first one and then two fingers so that I was able to give him a deep prostrate massage. I then got him to kneel on the massage table while I inserted a thick dildo into his arsehole and began to fuck him, all the time wanking and sucking on this thick cock until he exploded, shooting spunk all over my face. I was very happy. Hoping if he visits again he might want to try a real cock in his cunt...well why not.

So guys looking forward to Edinburgh. Hope it is as sexy as last time and that you Scottish guys are still as kinky as ever.

Chris.

FAST AND KINKY

In this job you meet all kinds of people and receive all kinds of requests. Some guys like to take things slow, have a massage, and then some sex, others are like whirlwinds.

On this particular occasion a guy I had seen several times arrived and was in a rush to get to a meeting. He quickly had a shower while I lay on the bed watching some porn and getting myself hard.

Out of the shower he was on top of me so that I could give his tight little arsehole a good licking out while he sucked on my hard cock. He has a puckered rim around his arsehole, and when you rim him you can feel the ridges with your tongue, and when he gets horny he opens just a little so that you can slip your tongue just inside his tight little hole. Quite delicious.

When I had him nice and wet he decided he wanted to sit on my cock so that he could ride me while I wanked him. His arse felt especially tight as he slipped his ring over my knob end. He slipped over my girth until I was buried ball deep inside his arse and he felt wonderfully tight. I thought I would explode to soon, but I held back somehow as he began to ride himself fast on my cock. His arse felt delicious as he slipped himself up and down my cock length, almost slipping my cock out of his arse, but not quite.

I however wanted to be in charge, and to give his arse a good pounding, so I indicated that he assume a doggy position with his face flat on the bed. This allowed me to penetrate his arsehole deep. I set to work using long, hard, but slow strokes. While I was fucking him I felt his hand move between our legs and as I fucked him he began to pull gently on my balls. This sent the most wonderful sensations running to the tip of my cock.
"Tickle my arsehole," I whispered.
He did more that that. As I fucked him he slipped a finger inside my arse ring and began to frig me while I fucked him. It was not long after he started frigging me that I shot my full ball load deep into his tight little arse.

As I was pumping my load into him he squeezed my balls again, almost squeezing the spunk out. I can still feel the delicious sensations that he gave me when he was doing this.

He then slipped off my cock and rolling over I took his rock hard cock into my mouth and sucked him off. He exploded seconds later with his cock in my mouth and two of my fingers inserted deep in his arsehole.

He left a very happy chap, and this all took exactly twenty minutes. Fast but furious fucking can sometimes be the best.

Keep hard.

Chris.