THE END IS NIGH..Yep, it is I think time to retire.

Dear readers and clients,

I knew when I moved house that my life would change, would become less hectic and more relaxed. I understood that I was likely to see fewer clients. I realised that having moved out of the urban Newcastle catchment area into Rural Northumberland that my business clientele, for example were hardly going to travel the best part of an hour to visit me. Plus I was only seeing regular clients, so limiting my ability to obviously attract new clients. I also knew that this new property is a project that will take probably three years to complete and so offered few of the luxuries or the space my clients had enjoyed in Newcastle. I knew this and thought I would see how things went. For the first few weeks I was actually very busy with many regulars making the effort to visit and lots of calls wishing me luck and promising to visit, (including from my favourite kinky piss guy). It was all going well. The past few weeks however have been very quiet, not even phone calls. I have therefore faced up to reality and decided to bring my retirement, which had been planned for the end of this year or early next year, forward. I have decided to bow out so I can concentrate on getting the renovations done to my new home. I can't complain because I have had nearly 25 years in the business, working in London, Edinburgh and of course Newcastle. I have met some lovely clients and had some memorable times which hopefully will provide plenty of inspiration for my erotic writing. I will keep this blog going to keep everyone informed of my writing etc. Perhaps in the future I may even come back into the erotic massage business, who knows. For now however I am retiring at the end of July. So if any clients would like to see me one last time do just give me a call. I will also keep the erotic wank chat service going, so if you fancy a dirty wank chat then give me a call.

I had the pleasure of entertaining a client a few days ago which still makes my arsehole tingle with delightful memories. Another daddy next door type he has big balls and a shortish but fat cock. After his shower he came into the room where I was kneeling naked on the bed and without a by your leave he slipped his hand between my legs and began to massage my balls while nuzzling my neck. It was very nice, but soon I was bent over, arse in the air and he was on his knees rimming my wrinkled bum hole with a passion, pushing his tongue deep into my welcoming arsehole so deep that I thought he was trying to clean my tonsils. Seriously, I have been arse-licked often but never so deep. I was in heaven as his tongue slipped in and out of my dirty arsehole and licked around the wrinkled rim and down to my balls. Pulling my cock back between my legs he slipped my knob-end into his mouth and gave me a deep blow job. After some minutes I indicted to change and I gave his arsehole a good hard licking, running my tongue down to his balls and back up to his arsehole once more. My cock was rock hard and I knew that he liked a good hard fuck and so, running my knob around his saliva wet shit-hole, I inserted first the knob-end and then drove my shaft ball deep in side his hole. I fucked his arse hard. Before long I felt myself approaching the climax and so telling him to lie on his back I straddled over his face, allowing him to once again sniff and lick my puckered hole while I wanked and with a sudden loud moan I squirted my spunk over his face. He had been wanting himself furiously while licking my arse and having received my load of cream he asked me to stick my arse in the air while he rubbed and wanked his cock against my arsehole until with a low groan he also exploded and I felt his hot spunk splash against my wet-hole. I like nothing better than a spunky arse and when he rubbed his spunk into my arse-cheeks and over my balls and cock  I was in heaven. If he had decided to clean up his mess with some hot man-piss, well, I would have been a very happy whore indeed. He didn't however, but left a happy chap, de-spunked and off to work he went with a smile.

So readers and clients. I hope that you enjoyed my sordid little tale of rimming and fucking and creamy spunk. If you did and you have seen me before please give me a call on 07517 697569 to book an appointment before I retire. If you are just a horny browser however then please call and book a wank-chat. I like it dirty, so anything goes within reason. Wank chat costs £1 a minute, minimum spend is £10 and minutes can be carried to future wanks.

Speak soon, happy wanking, 

Chris.

SETTLING IN TO A NEW LIFE...Another erotic tale.

Dear readers

I am now becoming accustomed to a new way of life out in the country. It is certainly quieter and more peaceful and weirdly more social as I find friends and family visit more and days out to Bamburgh and Warkworth for lunch and tea have become a regular occurrence. 

As I have explained on my website this means that I am no longer available for appointments with half an hours notice. I now prefer that bookings are made in advance and confirmed by 10.30am on the day of the appointment. I am also only seeing known clients. So far this has worked well. My regulars seem to be happy to carry on visiting and are able to book in advance or at least in the morning of the appointment. After 10.30, if no appointments are booked I tend to go out or do other things. I now live 8 miles from the nearest shop, although my cottage is very easy to find, so as you must appreciate I can no longer easily just drop everything and be ready in 30 minutes.

For some reason my wank chat service has not been as popular since I moved. So I remind readers that I still offer a very dirt wank chat service to all of my readers. I charge £1 per minute, minimum £10 and unused minutes can be carried. Just call for payment details and let your dirty minds run free. Lots of fucking, pissing and sucking fantasies to be explored. Talking of pissing, where are my wonderful piss clients? I love nothing better than a good piss shower to warm me up for a really dirty massage and a couple of my regulars have been very happy to oblige my perversion.

Talking of my favourite perversions a recent encounter with one of my clients springs to mind. The client arrived and showered as usual. Stocky build, very much the daddy next door type. I began with the usual hot oil over his back and down the crack of his arse and of course with a moan his arse was soon in the air and I was able to use my fingers to massage around his arsehole and then around his low dangling balls and thick cock which was already moist around the knob-end as pre-cum dribbled out of the piss hole. I could not resist a taste and running my tongue down over his arsehole I pulled his cock back and slipped his knob into my mouth where I greedily slurped up the salty moistness. He moaned loudly as I sucked on his bell-end, all the time stroking his arsehole with my fingers. I could not help myself, I love to rim a willing arsehole and so I returned to licking around his puckered hole and up and down the crack of his arse, all the time stroking his cock. 

After tonguing his man cunt for some minutes I mentioned that he may want to move onto the bed. He agreed and I assumed my position kneeling on the bed, my arse in the air, legs spread, presenting my cunt for his approval. " Give my arse a spank",  I invited and he obliged and then ran his fingers over my arsehole and down to my balls and and hard cock. Next he was on his knees and his hard tongue was forcing my arsehole apart as he rimmed me with an intensity and passion that had me moaning with joy. Boy, could he rim. I pride myself on my rimming but this guy had his tongue so far up my gaping hole I was in heaven, he was genuienly fucking me with his tongue and it was delicious. For some minutes he rimmed me and stroked my cock and then he asked if I would rub my cock against his arse. I am known for my, what I call, rimming with my knob-end, which basically is rubbing my hard cock against the arsehole without fully penetrating. I love having it done to me ( especially when it ends with a spunky arse hole ) and my clients love me doing it to them. So I obliged with a good cock rimming of his man-cunt until he rolled over and invited me to go down on his cock. I obliged and began to suck on his cock, taking it deep into my throat, slowly at first but then giving him a good mouth fuck. Next, pulling me on to the bed he sat on my face so that I could alternatively lick his arsehole and then suck his thick cock taking it deep down the back of my throat. We did a sixty -nine and he fingered my arse while I sucked his cock and he sucked mine. Pure heaven. Eventually we changed positions with me on top. I told him what a dirty bastard he was and urged him to stick his fucking tongue up my my dirty  cunt, which he did, licking my wrinkled hole as I wanked off and soon exploded over his chest. I was  so horny that I could not resist licking my own spunk as it lay splattered over his hairy chest. Now that I had come he said that it was his turn and so he stood at the side the bed so that my head was between his legs and I was able to lick his balls and arsehole as he lowered himself onto my tongue and soon, with a load moan, he told me to open my fucking mouth and he shot a hot and delicious wad of thick spunk into my open gullet. At least two or three thick ejaculations of thick spunk cream shot again and again into my mouth and I could not help but suck his knob dry. I swallowed as much as I could but the rest of his sperm dribbled out of my mouth and down my chin. With a chuckle he announced, " that was good, I'll pop in the shower." 

I do like it dirty and after all my purpose is to offer a dirty service to appreciative clients who like me, like their sex uncomplicated. I am here to please.

I hope that you enjoyed this little adventure and that you will consider giving me a call to book a dirty wank-chat or perhaps a one to one booking. My regulars will tell you that I do live up to expectations.

Call Chris on 07517 697569  and remember shy boys get no cock.. true fact.

I AM BACK.

Dear Readers,

I am at last back or at least I should be starting offering erotic massage again next Friday which is the 12th of April. I am still no where near being ready but as I have discovered, everything moves at a snails pace when it comes to workmen. Trying to find joiners, floor fitters, decorators and builders etc is not easy and you need to book, not weeks, but months in advance and hope they turn up. I knew that this move would be a two year project but I fear it may turn out to be a three year project, so dear clients please understand that although everything is fine and comfortable it is not the finished product. I do have however, a very good shower and of course a massage room and bedroom with my usual selection of deviant porn for your amusement. 

I am very easy to find just off the A1 near Alnwick, within the NE66 post code. Just call as usual and I will give details of where I am. Please note that, for the time being, I am only seeing my regular clients, no new clients and it is my intention to be semi retired and very discreet, now that I am out in the country.  Any gentlemen wishing to make an appointment, will have to be known to me and I would prefer 24 hours notice for a booking please as I am no longer offering set hours, like I did in Newcastle.  Same day bookings may still be available but I would prefer to be a bit more organised, especially as work is ongoing at my home over the coming months.  If I know that you are wishing to book, on a certain day, I will ensure that I can keep that time free for you without any distractions.

Obviously I have had no new clients since January so I thought a little extract from my new book would keep you all amused. This extract involves a young footman and the lecherous old butler in a grand Victorian London home sometime in 1850s...

" Harry was still shocked by the sexual encounter with the butler in his study. He felt his cock stir as he imagined the randy old bastards hands on his bare arse cheeks and his fat fingers stretching his tight arsehole. It had been several hours since the encounter and his mind raced as he struggled to understand his own lustful nature and how he could so enjoy fucking his ladyships lady's maid (in her arse so she had no babies) and yet was so excited by his lordships cock and now the the randy old bastard of a butler who so obviously had enjoyed spanking him and fingering him and of course being sucked off by him. He smiled as he remembered the salty mouthful of spunk that had filled his mouth as the butlers short but fat cock ejaculated into his mouth. "Fuck", he murmured to himself, as he felt his face redden and his cock harden. 

"Harry", the butlers voice broke his musings. " Go down the cellar and collect some bottles of Hock for the masters table. I will be down to help shortly. " Yes sir" Harry replied and collecting the keys from the smiling butler he headed down into the cellars. Carrying an oil Lamp he searched the extensive cellars to find the racks containing the Hock that he knew his master liked. Bending down he searched the dust covered bottles, chasing away some spiders that scurried into the darkness. Seeing  the bottles he had searched for he bend over and was about to pick out those that he had selected when he jumped, startled by a slap on his arse. "Sorry", the butler murmured, his hand stroking Harry's arse cheek, "but your arse cheeks were so inviting, so firm and yet soft and hard at the same time beneath the stretched fabric of your trousers that I could not resist having a little feel. My cock you know is throbbing with the thought of that winking little puckered hole of yours being so close. Please, he whispered excitedly, my cock is so hard just thinking, so please take your trousers down so that I can see that tight little puckered ring once more. " Okay", Harry whispered, since you ask so nicely I will oblige sir. Dropping his pants he bent over and the dirty old butler knelt on the cold stone of the cellar floor and presenting his arse to the butlers face he felt his hot fingers pull his arse-cheeks apart so that the butler could examine closely the boys pink puckered ring. "So soft and so pink and yet just a little darker is the inviting ring", the butler whispered as he enjoyed his view and then Harry felt something hot and wet stroke his arse-ring and he realised that the butler was using his hot tongue to lick around the puckered hairless ring of his arsehole. Harry shuddered with pleasure at this new sensation and pushed his arse back onto the searching wet tongue. Round and around the butlers soft tongue circled, then he spat noisily and Harry felt the spittle hit his hole and then the butlers tongue again licked up and down Harry's arse crack, his tongue again licking around the boys tight hole making Harry moan with ecstasy and when Harry looked down at his stiff cock he realised that he was dribbling pre-cum that fell in a long line of sticky silver juice onto the floor creating a little puddle. " I must my boy, just must fuck you and enjoy stretching that delicious fuck hole that you tease me with to extraction" the butler whispered, his voice dripping with the honeyed lust Harry's arsehole had brought hm too. The butler now pulled himself to standing and dropped his pants and lifting his shirt tail Harry watched him from between his spread legs as the butler presented his hard fat cock to the boys arse ring. Rubbing his hard knob up and down between the boys arse cheeks Harry felt the butlers hot spit again hit his arsehole, further lubricating his aching sensitive hole and then he felt the butler push his fat knob against his shit-hole, Harry naturally relaxed and then after a shudder of pain as the butler pushed on, his hard fat cock entering the boys tight hole, stretching it to fit his fat cock. Holding the boys waist so that he could not pull away the butler pushed on further, stretching the boys tight hole until his full 5 inches of fat cock was fully encased within the boys stretched arsehole. Harry was so surprised to find himself in pure ecstasy after the first initial pain and when the butler began to fuck, pushing his fat cock in and out of the boys arsehole  it was not long before Harry was pushing back onto the butlers fat cock with remarkable gusto until the butler suddenly pulled him tight and slipping his tongue into his ear the butler thrust his cock once again deep into Harry's stretched arsehole who felt the butlers cock jerk deep inside as he exploded his spunk into the boys stretched hole letting out a soft long heartfelt moan into Harry's ear while he continued to fuck the boys arsehole slowly now but still ejaculating violently again and again, filling his shit-hole with his creamy spunk. Suddenly they both stilled, the butlers cock still deep inside Harry's arse as his spasms came less frequently and then Harry felt the butlers cock slip out of his arsehole and him murmur, "bend over boy". Obliging Harry bent over and he felt the butlers fingers spread his arse- cheeks as he murmured, " you dirty little boy, all that lovely cream is slipping out of that stretched cunt of yours. Harry felt the butlers fingers slip inside him and he pulled out a dollop of creamy spunk on his fingers and presented it to Harry's lips. Harry greedily sucked on the butlers fat salty fingers, savouring the taste of the salty spunk and the earthy taste of his man-cunt. 'Come my boy, let me finger your spunky arsehole while you fuck me in the mouth so that I can taste your young spunk". Slipping onto the floor the butler made Harry straddle over him so that he could insert two of his fat fingers into Harry's spunk filled arsehole. Frigging Harry's bum hole he took Harry's cock in his mouth and as harry fucked his mouth the butler fingered the boys arsehole until with a groan Harry emptied his balls deep into the butlers mouth while his arsehole spasmed, trapping the butlers fingers in a vice like grip as he ejaculated a hot load of cream which the butler drank greedily. Eventually after draining Harry's cock completely dry the Butler released Harry's cock and swallowing with a satisfying gulp he pulled his fingers out of the boys arsehole and spanked his bare arse-cheek."You really are a dirty little fucker of a footman are you not Harry".

 I hope that you enjoyed this little extract and I hope that you  will book a dirty massage session very soon.

Remember that  I am still doing erotic wank chat at £1 per minute the minimum spend being £10 with you can carry any money not used to your next appointment. Telephone 07517 697569

Take care and happy wanking and I hope you have not been too respectable while I have been gone.