Thursday, 19 March 2020

Dirty Minds. A Taster And Link to My Dirty Memoirs.

DIRTY MINDS. A taster of my true lived experience as an erotic masseur.

Despite this horrible and very annoying pandemic I am pleased to say that my clients still have rampant cocks which need to be satisfied.

A couple of days ago a newish client booked for the second appointment. Lets just say he was less interested in the massage on his second appointment. While he was showering I had undressed and was leaning over the massage table putting on and arranging new towels when I felt his hand between my legs gently squeezing my balls. Being me, I had my arse pushed up straight away and spreading my legs and leaning over the table I felt his finger stroke around my arsehole, teasing me. I love having my arsehole stroked and teased and when he knelt behind me and began to run his tongue around my wrinkled little hole I began to groan appreciatively. Thinking logically as always, and wanting to make his job easier I quickly climbed onto the massage table on my knees and head down and arse in the air, totally exposed, I spread my legs further so that he not only had a good view but could stroke my cock while shamelessly rimming my arsehole to perfection. He was good with his tongue, pushing in hard, teasing, deep into my twitching wrinkled hole, then he slowly licked in a circle around the rim before stroking his tongue down to my balls and up again. Seriously, I am famous for my rimming, but this guy was a master.

Strings of pre-cum now dribbled in silver, sticky, glistening strings from my cock-hole. I felt his fingers pull my throbbing cock back between my legs, naturally pushing my arse yet further into the air. I closed my eyes, such was the intensity of the pleasure as he stroked my throbbing cock gently, yet firmly, up and down. I felt him pull my cock back toward him and then I shivered as his tongue licked around my glistening glands savouring the salty taste of my pre-cum. The sensations were now unbearably divine and intense and putting my hand back and behind his head I pushed his face back up toward my arsehole. He stroked with his wet tongue along my shaft , over my shaved balls, between my legs and then onto my exposed hole where he drove his tongue deep into my twitching wrinkled orifice making me moan loudly, “god, your a dirty bastard,” I turned to face his smiling face and he nodded.......

Thats all your getting for now readers... This is just the sort of story based on true experience which will be available soon on kindle. Look out for links. Also to speak to me personally for really dirty chat ( £1 a minute.) Call to discuss ways to pay call 07517 697569

Remember that I already have My Dirty Memoirs available to buy on Kindle. It is now, I have been told, a blue classic. It makes me rock hard and I wrote it and lived all the experiences described. Please give yourself a treat. You will not be disappointed.

Stopping Personal One To One Appointments With New Clients

Stopping personal appointments with new clients (until further notice).

Sadly I am going to have to stop seeing any new clients for the forseable future. Watching the news and listening to the advice being given by the government this would seem to be the sensible course of action. Apart from the health risks relating to Coronavirus, I worry that the situation may begin to deteriorate regarding law and order and people in my profession are vulnerable because we have to work alone in order to remain legal.  I will still see regular clients.

I am not closing down altogether however. I am going to concentrate on dirty phone chat. Give me a call on 07517 697569 . There are a number of ways to pay and I charge £1 a minute and you can bank minutes, so, if you book 30 minutes and only use 10, then you can bank the remaining 20 minutes for use later. If you are an old client or a regular to my blog you will know that I like it dirty and that I am un-shockable (although no underage please).

I am also going to write some short stories which will be available on Kindle which I hope to make available for around £1/1.99 which I hope you will buy. During this difficult time I need your support financially. This is my only source of income and I hope my clients will understand and continue to support me and enjoy the services I offer even if I cannot at present see you on a one to one basis. Some regular clients are paying toward future one to one appointments. If you are in a position to do this then all monies will be gratefully received and banked for future appointments.

Well I hope everyone will keep safe and I hope normal service will resume as soon as possible.

My regards and my best wishes and please keep horny :-)

Chris, the now very frustrated Harlot.

Tuesday, 17 March 2020

Dealing With The present Coronavirus Pandemic

Still Open for Business.

Dealing with the present Coronavirus Pandemic.

I thought it important to inform clients of what is happening during the present crisis over the Covid-19 (Coronavirus) pandemic. Obviously this is a worrying time for everyone and advice from the government is changing almost daily. I will try and keep everyone informed.

I remain at the moment open for business. Visiting me is no more risky than filling your car with petrol or shopping at any supermarket. The virus is spread through contact with surfaces touched by an infected person. Provided surfaces are disinfected then risk of infection is minimal if non existent. Provided you are showing no signs of symptoms, that is no recent coughs, temperatures, aches or pains, (basically if you are showing signs of a cold or flu,) then you are safe to visit. If you are showing any of these signs then I would strongly advise you not to visit.

When you arrive you must have a hot shower, ( I always shower before an appointment), when you leave I now wash not just your shower towel, but all towels and sheets etc that you have been in contact with on a 90% wash and all surfaces are disinfected. Basically I am doing all I can to make sure that everything is as safe as possible. Obviously I am regularly tested for everything related to STDs and I am pleased to say that in 17 years I have never had any infections related to my work. Clients can carry on booking knowing that they are as safe as it is possible to be. This is my business and I need your support to survive and to carry on offering the service that has been so appreciated over the last 17 years.

I understand that clients will nevertheless by worried and with this in mind I am offering some new services which will I hope keep you all happy. If we are all forced to self isolate then we may well need a good wank to keep sane.

If you wish to visit and are worried about physical contact then I am happy to offer a to view service. Basically you can pay to watch me play with myself. Call to discuss prices.

I am also offering a phone sex service with prices starting at £10 for ten minutes which you can pay in a number of easy ways including by card. This allows for you to be as dirty as you like over the phone and you can store minutes ie, if you book half an hour for £30 and only use ten minutes, then you can carry the remaining minutes over.

Other ways in which you can help over this difficult period. Some clients have already paid for ( or partially paid for) appointments in advance in order to help financially ( remember we sex workers cannot rely on banks or the government to help us out, so we rely on our clients). If you are able to do this then I will be happy to bank your appointments for after the present panic has subsided.

If you can think of any other service that I could offer then please let me know.

Please call me for an appointment or to book a sex chat on 07517 697569

Thank you..keep happy.

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Apologies And A New Dirty real Life Encounter With One Of My Regular Married Gentlemen Remembered.

It seems ages since I last wrote anything for the blog. My only excuse is that I have just been incredibly busy with work and loads of personal stuff. I nearly had a major disaster when my new laptop suddenly decided to die losing three books i have been working on over the last two years . Somehow and after three experts had attempted to access my files, I was able to retrieve the manuscripts, so I am still on course to hopefully get my next erotic novel published for Christmas.

In the meantime I have had lots of incredibly sexy encounters....

One of my regulars is also into my favourite kink, watersports. He is a good looking daddy type, with not a bad body and a nice cock and dangling balls which I love to suck, usually I try my best to take them both in my mouth, while he wanks his big cock over my face, but I, as usual, get ahead of myself and this particular encounter was a little different.

When he arrives he is always dying for a piss and this occasion was no exception. He arrived smiling and undressing he calls me, now also naked, into the shower. He smiles wickedly, "are you ready he asks," pointing his cock at my face. I lick my lips and he begins to piss, first with a few dribbles, which I lick from his knob-end, sucking the thick bulb into my mouth until suddenly a torrent of hot piss hits my tongue and quickly fills my mouth. He is one of those guys who is able to piss from a semi erect cock and as he pisses into my mouth I begin to suck his cock, taking his semi-erect thick, pissing cock deep into my throat as I use my fingers to pull gently on his heavy balls.  His piss is now flowing, hot, tasting slightly salty, into my mouth and then over my lips and running down my chest, falling onto my cock and balls. My cock is now rock hard of course and I rub his hot piss over my cock and over my balls. He watches what I am doing and pulling his still pissing cock from my mouth he directs his piss at my cock, giving it a good wash as I use his hot piss as lube, wanking my cock and pulling on my balls. I feel his piss running down my legs and under my balls and stretching my hand back I rub my arsehole with my fingers, using his warm piss as lube to tease myself.

I look up, his eyes are filled with lust and he nods his head, which is my signal to turn around and kneeling I bend over so that my head is touching the floor and my arse is sticking in the air. In this position I can pull my arse-cheeks apart and he can direct the last remaining stream of his hot piss directly onto my arsehole. The sensation of his piss directly hitting the centre of my arsehole is delicious and I encourage him by pushing my finger into my tight hole, using his piss as lube I frigg my own anus for a few minutes, slipping my finger deep inside while he watches.

At last I feel the last drops of his piss hit my arse cheeks and turning around onto my knees I again take his cock into my mouth and begin to suck greedily on his cock which is now rock hard and tasting of salty piss. I happily suck on his cock, sucking his thick shaft deep into may mouth until he eventually pulls his cock free  and indicates that I climb onto the massage table on my knees so that again my arse is up in the air. I feel his hands on the cheek of my arse and he pulls them apart so that he has access to my piss washed anus. I hear him purr before I feel the hotness of his tongue as he begins to rim me, pushing his tongue into my arsehole and then running his tongue around the puckered hole, before once gain tongue fucking me. While he is rimming me I am wanking my cock furiously, moaning with pleasure. I am enjoying his tongue so much that I am a little peeved when he stops and helping me from the table he takes my place and presents his arse for my view.

The sight before me is incredibly sexy, his round brown ring winking at me and his balls heavy and dangling, I can't resist taking them in my hand as my tongue begins to assault his arse-ring, running around his puckered hole, slipping into the ring, teasing him.  As I do so my hand slips from his heavy balls and grabbing hold of his thick cock I began to wank his shaft while licking his arsehole. I hear him moan with pleasure and rubbing my fingers over his cock end I feel the sticky pre-cum dribbling copiously from his piss hole. I felt that he was near, so ask him to lie flat on the massage table. He obliges as I take his cock deep into my mouth while my fingers, now slippery with warm oil, slip between his legs, rubbing and pulling his balls a little before locating his arsehole which I rub with gentle circular motions around the puckered rim before slipping my finger inside him. I then begin frigging his arsehole while deep throating him, feeling his knob end touching my tonsils, making me gag, but I carry on sucking him hard while frigging his arsehole, my finger now fully inserted. With a sudden jerk of his cock, deep in my throat and his anal ring gripping my finger I am rewarded with copious jets of ball cream drenching my tonsils, filling my mouth, forcing me to swallow his spunk, hot and warm and sticky. He shoots so hard and so much that I can't possibly swallow all of it and his thick spunk dribbles from my mouth and down over his balls. I look up, his knob still in my mouth as I suck every last drop of sperm, his eyes are rolling, "I m seeing fucking stars," he mutters and he looks down laughing as I finally release his cock from my mouth. I must look a sight `i realise, his cum dribbling down over my chin, thick and sticky.

So folks, as you see, I have been busy.

I you want to make an appointment call chris on 07517697569 and join my band of happy married gentlemen who like a safe, discreet but dirty sex encounter. M/F couples and single females also welcome.

Sensual dirty massage with a happy ending guaranteed.

Monday, 20 July 2015

NAUGHTY DADDY TYPES...are more fun

Life as an erotic masseur has its ups and downs; like any job, but usually there are more ups than downs and certainly plenty of hard erections to keep a horny guy like myself more than happy. I especially like the dirty daddy types, the type who are married, ordinary guys, with very dirty imaginations.

A couple of days ago, as an example, I opened the door to a new client, a mddle aged, tyically married guy, who greeted me with a smile and that twinkle in his eye that kind of lets me know that he would be up for a bit of dirty fun.

He showered and I noticed in the mrirror that he paid particular attention to soaping his arsehole; which made me smile, I love to rim a guy, but only if, like me, he is scrupulously clean in that area, know what I mean. He was still in good shape and had lovely pendulous bull balls; which swung as he walked. I admit, I am very much a ball pervy guy, my idea of heaven is to have a heavy pair of testicles bouncing on my face, seriously, that and being pissed on, are my two favourite kinks. But enough of my personal fantasies.

He hoped onto the table and as he did so I caught a glimpse of his round little arsehole, nicley puckered, just the way I like them. I began the massage as normal, with the warm oil slipping between his bottocks. As I massaged his bottocks, my fingers somehow, (intentionally,) stroked over his anus, rubbing the hot oil deep into his little tight hole, which of course made him moan gently and open his legs to allow me easier access. I knew, I told myself, you can always tell a perv and to be honest, I should know.

My regulars know that I rarely turn down an invitation to get my tongue up a willing arsehole and so, once he was nicely relaxed and excited, I had my head down and began running my tongue around his arsehole rim, all the time squeezing his balls very gently, they felt deliciously heavy in my hand.

His cock was now rock hard and I gave it a few stroked while I continued to rim his arse. He was dribbling pre-cum now and so we both agree that it was time that we made our way through to the bedroom, where he asked me to kneel on the bed, head down and arse cheeks spread. He was on his knees in seconds and was straight into my tight little hole with his tongue, rimming my arse like a professional. He soon had my cock dribling as his tongue stroked around my rim and then, when he slipped his finger inside me, I was in heaven, moaning like a bitch and wishing he would use two fingers and really stretch my arsehole, just the way I like it to be teased.

I realised before long that I was near coming, so, I indicated that if I lay on my back, he could sit on my face and let me retrun the plaesure he had just given me. His arse tasted delicious and when he pulled back I was able to begin to lick his balls, lovely heavy round orbs, that I sucked greedily into my mouth, making him moan with pleasure. He pullled back a little more and slipped his thick dribbling cock into my mouth and pushed it deep down my throat, at the same time taking my cock into his own mouth. Sucking my cock, while fingering my arsehole, while I sucked on his cock, which he thrust deep into my mouth, soon had us both near orgasm and when I slipped my finger into his tight spittle lubbed arsehole it was just to much and with a final thrust he slipped his jerking cock deep into my throat and began to cum, shooting jet after jet of salty spunk into my mouth and down my throat. Fuck, the sensation of hot spunk jetting into your mouth is just so erotic, i'm rock hard writing this and remembering the sensation, but I digress, I was now ready to cum myself and before he had finished jerking I squirted my own ball load, filling his mouth with my hot thick spunk. We both now had our mouths full of hot ball cream and we were both totally delighted. Laughing we mopped up the residue that was spilling down our chins.

He was delighted with my performance, I of course was more than happy, nothing like a dirty daddy type to make me hot and horny. I do hope he will become a regular. I need more daddy types looking for good, dirty and raunchy sex. Thats why I am a popular male masseur I presume..

call 07517 697569 to book an appointment, i'm usually around and willing to please.

Sunday, 15 March 2015


I have had, I am glad to say, my usual lust filled January and February. Some guys are just insatiable. Lots of lovely massage and rimming and fingering and fucking. No horny piss guys...where are you all hiding. My regular Piss guy who often managed three or four good piss showers in an hour has been missing for three months. I am sure he will be back, but i do miss his especially dirty fun appointments.

I have, however, in the meantime, become infamous for my prostate massage. One regular client recently shot his load of spunk so hard it nearly sprayed the ceiling, leaving the poor man quite dizzy and drained. He is an especially lovely guy with a nice body and a big cock and an arsehole you could rim for ever.

On his last visit we started as usual with a massage using warm oils, but very soon he had his arse in the air and my lips sucking on his tight puckered arsehole. His hole is deliciously puckered and you can't not want to dive in and taste it.

I began as usual by licking around his arsehole and then running my tongue down between his legs and then over his big hairless, heavy balls. I like to suck them individually into my mouth before trying, unsuccessfully, to get them both into my mouth at the same time. I then like to pull his big thick cock back between his legs and to lick around the glands, sliding half his knob into my mouth to see how much I can take down my throat. All the time I am doing this I like to rub my fingers around his saliva lubed arsehole and when I get his cock deep into my throat I slip a finger into his arsehole and and he moans loudly as i continue to suck on his cock and frig his arse with my finger at the same time.

Releasing his cock from my mouth I continue to finger fuck his arsehole, probing deeper and deeper into his anus until I find that little hot button, his prostrate. When I have stroked his prostrate for a short time and he his moaning and groaning with pleasure I ask him to turn around. lying on his back I am able to begin to deep throat his cock, taking it deep into the back of my throat until I almost gag and have to come up for air, then, pouring hop oil onto the end of his knob, which makes his moan even more and provides even more lubrication which allows my hand and then my mouth, alternatively, to slide over his cock shaft and around his knob end. This brings him close to climax and he has to indicate for me to slow down.

I then give him a little rest while I lube my fingers with gel and then I begin to probe his anus again, pushing one and then two fingers into his arsehole, again searching for that magic button. By now his legs have spread wide open and  I am alternatively sucking his cock and then his balls while I wank his cock with my oiled hand. I am all the time massaging his prostrate, my fingers deep inside his arsehole and he is moaning and groaning with pleasure.

I like bringing him to near climax and then slowing things down, over and over and over again. While I am dong this he likes to play with my cock and balls and better still he likes to frig my arsehole, pushing one and then two fingers deep into my anus while I work on his cock.

On his last visit, without notice, while I was pleasuring his anus and prostrate with my fingers, he let out a deep moan as, unable to resist the sensation of his prostrate being massaged and his balls being licked while I wanked his cock, he ejaculated in strong spasms, jet after jet of spunk that shot straight toward the ceiling. I admit I was a little pissed off because normally he shoots his heavy thick load of sweet tasking spunk down my throat, but I forgave him because it was just amazing seeing the look on his face as the spunk jetted out of his piss hole, covering my hair and chest and even landing on his and my face.

When he had finished he lay exhausted, his fingers still buried deep in my arse. I slipped my fingers from his arsehole gently and laughing pulled his fingers out of mine before handing this a towel to clean himself. He was a very happy gentleman and is one of my favourite clients for very obvious reasons. If only I could persuade him to try a little watersports....If he is reading this and no doubt smiling, perhaps next time?

A little good news i that I have more availability this month but I am off over Easter.
Have fun and don't be good...its very dull.


Monday, 5 January 2015


At last I am pleased to announce that I have more availability. I am going to be around the house for the next few weeks, so if you fancy a dirty massage experience please call : 07517 697569 to make an appointment.

Anyone who reads this blog knows that being shy will not get you rimmed, sucked and fucked, or, for the adventurous, the chance to piss on a real lover of water sports, (thats not the kind that involves sailing, scuba diving or swimming). 

I am also a trained masseur, for those clients who prefer a long, deep, massage using warm oils with a happy ending in discreet, luxury, surroundings, then I am definitely recommended.
Obviously all gentlemen are welcome. The vast majority of my clients are married gentlemen and many are looking for a first time experience, so don't think that you have to be adventurous if you do not want to be, or are simply nervous. The massage experience is very relaxed and very laid back.
I am also happy to see couples. M/M or M/F. I also see females looking for a sensual massage experience, although I prefer women to be with partners. 



£65 FOR 45 MINUTES, 

£80 FOR AN HOUR.  




I also offer a domination service for those who like to spanked or caned. 
Please call for details. I

f you fancy just a phone wank please call my dedicated 

WANK LINE 07053 509694 

Please note that anyone expecting to get a free wank by calling the massage line will be rejected, so please don't bother even trying. The dedicated wank line is not expensive and you can be as dirty as your imagination allows you.

I think you will agree that I cover almost all your possible erotic/fantasy requirements, but briefly what I don't offer are the following:

I do not cross dress.

I do not have leather or rubber.

I only do rimming/fingering (which I really enjoy) if you have showered in the studio before beginning the appointment. Cleanliness is essential for my health and for yours.

Please note, I am not a gay scene skinny twink. I am a mature male, good looking, with a goatee beard and I have been told a nice body. I am straight looking/acting. If you want an effeminate boyish sort, I am definitely not your type.

Hope to see you soon.

Chris xxx